Post by sephoraeastwick on Jan 18, 2019 7:47:10 GMT -6
Miami, Fl.
November 14.
Sephora sits out on the deck of the Miami home, her feet kicked up on the bannister and leaning back into the sun lounger she’s making herself comfortable on; she looks up at the slowly darkening sky with a pensive expression. Dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top, the usual scrapes and cuts from her “other” job line her skin, some faded to almost scars and some noticeably more fresh. She toys with a strand of her long blonde hair, the rest of it thrown messily atop her head in a bun and her other hand holds a cigarette she takes the occasional drag from.
She allows the quiet stillness of the late evening to wash over her for a moment before inclining her head back to try and listen out for the sound of Logan inside the house. Finishing up the cigarette she drops it into a small half full glass of water and clears her throat.
“What are you doing in there!? If it’s cleaning I swear I’m gonna mess it up just for the fun of it…”
There’s silence for a good few minutes before she sees Logan’s face appear in the screen door.
“This kitchen is spotless, thank you very much, and you will NOT lay one finger on these clean counters.”
Trying to hide her smile she pulls another cigarette out of the pack on the table and turns it over in her fingers before lighting it with a quirk of her brow.
“I’ll just wait til you’re not looking and move everything in the cupboards around… it took you weeks last time to find everything.”
She focuses on the lit end of the cigarette for a moment, exhaling smoke through her nose before looking back at him.
“If you’re finished cleaning though you could come sit, do the talking thing, I hear it’s very popular these days?”
Logan emerges, holding a couple glasses of water and setting them on the patio table.
“You should drink something that doesn’t have alcohol in it now and then.”
He smiles at Sephora, taking a seat next to her. Instinctively, his arm circles her shoulders, holding her close to him. He doesn’t even seem bothered by the thin trail of smoke that drifts from her cigarette up into his face.
“What’s on your mind, Seph?”
She leans into him despite the scowl at the glass of water, shaking her head a little.
“Drinking water is a false economy anyway, at least alcohol dulls everything else.”
Her response was half minded as she concentrated on his face, quickly stubbing out the cigarette she was smoking, knowing he didn’t like it and sighing.
“I don’t know, I just feel… on edge a little I guess. Like there’s all this shit just staying the same and I still feel like I’m forever waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
He frowns, looking at her with a curious expression.
“What do you mean?”
A small frown appeared on her face as she looked down.
“I wasn’t supposed to have this life, part of me is always waiting for something to come along and take it away.”
“You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”
Logan offers her a small smile, giving any small gesture of comfort.
“You and I don’t really come from the same place, Seph.”
He’s silent for a moment. The thoughts are there, but he can’t quite decide on the words.
“I didn’t have the same challenges you did. I didn’t live the life you did. I don’t-”
His fingers trace gently across her arm, and his eyes fall on a few of the cuts that litter her skin.
“...I don’t wear the same scars. But I think that makes us better.”
There’s another brief silence.
“There are things you know, and ideas that you have, that only you could. You see the world differently. You have a perspective all your own. And I guess, on the other side of that, so do I. I had my own challenges, I had my own past. But… those things don’t divide us. If anything, I think they draw us closer together.”
He hugs her a little tighter.
“Maybe your past has taught you to constantly question it when things are going well… or maybe your instincts are right, and maybe something bad is on its way. But you know if it does, we’ll be ready for it. I’ll be right here when you need me.”
She looks back up at him, drawing her body closer to his and resting her chin st his shoulder, she can’t help but smile a little.
“You know, if you’d told me back at Thanksgiving last year we’d be sitting here, talking about what makes us work… I’d have literally laughed in your face. I can still remember the awkward way you always watched what you said around me, like my whole existence was in some way alien and you didn’t want to offend me.”
Her tone is thoughtful but happier, settling back into the comfort of his presence.
“Until we met, I wasn’t even sure I had a future. Maybe that’s what this is, maybe it's just my mind trying to reset my ideas… I actually think about the future now, I want one. I want our future and that’s, new… not bad, just new.”
Logan snorts.
“Yeah, who would have thought that we’d last this long? I didn’t think I was your type.”
He’s silent for a moment. He looked out to the distance, at the sun disappearing slowly across the horizon.
“I thought I’d be serving. I thought I’d have joined up with the military and that’s where my life would lead me. Somewhere down the line, that trajectory was thrown off course. Now if you would have told me THAT last year, I would have laughed.”
He smiled to himself, amused at how ridiculous it all sounds, looking back.
“It’s not a bad thing, things not going according to plan. Sometimes it’s just life nudging you towards something better.”
Resting her head to his shoulder she chuckled, her own eyes following the horizon line.
“You weren’t, my type I mean… Some pretty little do Gooder who couldn’t even say the word sex without blushing. I don’t know what it was, honestly, but something just drew me to you… I mean fuck, you should have run the other way when you saw me coming…”
Lacing her fingers with his, she squeezed his hand.
“But then; maybe you were looking for something that was a change. I still remember sitting at that table at your moms and thinking, fuck, nobody in this room thinks I belong and they’re right. It was one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever done in my whole damn life and the weirdest thing is, it’s also one of the most normal things.”
Lifting her head just a little, she planted a soft kiss on his jawline.
“Wanna know when I knew you were it for me?”
Logan glanced at her with a gentle smile.
“When?”
“Remember when I showed up at your place, all torn up and bleeding… with those awful stitches that you stared at in horror. I thought you were going to turn me away, I know it’s not something you’d ever seen before, not really. And I’d be gone, just disappeared with a text… But you didn’t, you cared for me, nursed me back to myself. That was when I knew, I’d never loved anyone before.”
She sighed, looking down for a moment and shaking her head.
“Everyone I’d ever trusted had hurt me, or left me. But not you; even at my lowest points you’ve always been the thing that pulled me back from the edge.”
Logan was quiet for a moment. He said nothing, but gently touched her skin, where those scars still stood out, even beneath her tattoos.
“I don’t see my dad much.”
He paused. He knew that sounded completely irrelevant, and he realized he could have started that sentence off better. He thought hard about his words.
“He’d come back, and he’d be around for a while, and then he’d have to go again. On to the next mission. On to the…. The next job.”
He frowned.
“It’s not really something you think about, but it’s always in the back of your head that… you know, maybe this time, he won’t come home. Maybe this will be the last time you get to say goodbye. And with you… I don’t know. I guess I’m used to that. I’ve grown up with that. The people I love most, leaving to do their work, and there’s never a promise that they’ll be back again. But you can’t live like that. You can’t…”
He paused again, choosing his words.
“You can’t live in constant fear that you’ll never see them again. You accept that this is their life, you hope it always goes well… and you love them that much more when they return.”
Logan gave Sephora’s hand a soft squeeze.
“I’ll never turn you away. I know that you’ve got things in your life that even now, I don’t really understand. I know that there’s some dark places in your head that you might never get rid of. I can’t be afraid of that, though. I just trust that you’ll always come back.”
She turned in her seat, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling up to kiss him softly, looking into his eyes. Her words caught in her throat for a moment, she’d never thought of it that way… or how her absences, her disappearances off in another job would affect him.
She had wanted to be out, she’d tried. But it just wasn’t her nature, she needed an outlet for those dark places he spoke about. And wrestling didn’t cut it, it dulled the sensations; it took the edge off for the most part. But sometimes she needed more… or she had, until lately. That need to breathe, that bloodlust had slowly been dulling out and that was in large part thanks to finally feeling like she had something worth coming back to.
“I don’t want that to be my life forever… I know I’ve talked about getting out before. And I know I kept going back any time I said it. But this time, it’s different. On the cusp of a new year and with everything that’s developed between us. I do, want more than the life that kinda chose me, for myself…”
Logan nodded slowly. His eyes scanned her face, taking in every small detail.
“I’d be lying if I said I was happy with the jobs you take… it still makes me nervous to see you coming home banged up and bleeding. But you’ve always said it was important. If you want out… you know I’ll do anything I can to help you.”
She smiled back at him, leaning her forehead close to his, her tone dropping to just a whisper.
“This. Exactly this, is everything that I want.”
November 14.
Sephora sits out on the deck of the Miami home, her feet kicked up on the bannister and leaning back into the sun lounger she’s making herself comfortable on; she looks up at the slowly darkening sky with a pensive expression. Dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top, the usual scrapes and cuts from her “other” job line her skin, some faded to almost scars and some noticeably more fresh. She toys with a strand of her long blonde hair, the rest of it thrown messily atop her head in a bun and her other hand holds a cigarette she takes the occasional drag from.
She allows the quiet stillness of the late evening to wash over her for a moment before inclining her head back to try and listen out for the sound of Logan inside the house. Finishing up the cigarette she drops it into a small half full glass of water and clears her throat.
“What are you doing in there!? If it’s cleaning I swear I’m gonna mess it up just for the fun of it…”
There’s silence for a good few minutes before she sees Logan’s face appear in the screen door.
“This kitchen is spotless, thank you very much, and you will NOT lay one finger on these clean counters.”
Trying to hide her smile she pulls another cigarette out of the pack on the table and turns it over in her fingers before lighting it with a quirk of her brow.
“I’ll just wait til you’re not looking and move everything in the cupboards around… it took you weeks last time to find everything.”
She focuses on the lit end of the cigarette for a moment, exhaling smoke through her nose before looking back at him.
“If you’re finished cleaning though you could come sit, do the talking thing, I hear it’s very popular these days?”
Logan emerges, holding a couple glasses of water and setting them on the patio table.
“You should drink something that doesn’t have alcohol in it now and then.”
He smiles at Sephora, taking a seat next to her. Instinctively, his arm circles her shoulders, holding her close to him. He doesn’t even seem bothered by the thin trail of smoke that drifts from her cigarette up into his face.
“What’s on your mind, Seph?”
She leans into him despite the scowl at the glass of water, shaking her head a little.
“Drinking water is a false economy anyway, at least alcohol dulls everything else.”
Her response was half minded as she concentrated on his face, quickly stubbing out the cigarette she was smoking, knowing he didn’t like it and sighing.
“I don’t know, I just feel… on edge a little I guess. Like there’s all this shit just staying the same and I still feel like I’m forever waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
He frowns, looking at her with a curious expression.
“What do you mean?”
A small frown appeared on her face as she looked down.
“I wasn’t supposed to have this life, part of me is always waiting for something to come along and take it away.”
“You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”
Logan offers her a small smile, giving any small gesture of comfort.
“You and I don’t really come from the same place, Seph.”
He’s silent for a moment. The thoughts are there, but he can’t quite decide on the words.
“I didn’t have the same challenges you did. I didn’t live the life you did. I don’t-”
His fingers trace gently across her arm, and his eyes fall on a few of the cuts that litter her skin.
“...I don’t wear the same scars. But I think that makes us better.”
There’s another brief silence.
“There are things you know, and ideas that you have, that only you could. You see the world differently. You have a perspective all your own. And I guess, on the other side of that, so do I. I had my own challenges, I had my own past. But… those things don’t divide us. If anything, I think they draw us closer together.”
He hugs her a little tighter.
“Maybe your past has taught you to constantly question it when things are going well… or maybe your instincts are right, and maybe something bad is on its way. But you know if it does, we’ll be ready for it. I’ll be right here when you need me.”
She looks back up at him, drawing her body closer to his and resting her chin st his shoulder, she can’t help but smile a little.
“You know, if you’d told me back at Thanksgiving last year we’d be sitting here, talking about what makes us work… I’d have literally laughed in your face. I can still remember the awkward way you always watched what you said around me, like my whole existence was in some way alien and you didn’t want to offend me.”
Her tone is thoughtful but happier, settling back into the comfort of his presence.
“Until we met, I wasn’t even sure I had a future. Maybe that’s what this is, maybe it's just my mind trying to reset my ideas… I actually think about the future now, I want one. I want our future and that’s, new… not bad, just new.”
Logan snorts.
“Yeah, who would have thought that we’d last this long? I didn’t think I was your type.”
He’s silent for a moment. He looked out to the distance, at the sun disappearing slowly across the horizon.
“I thought I’d be serving. I thought I’d have joined up with the military and that’s where my life would lead me. Somewhere down the line, that trajectory was thrown off course. Now if you would have told me THAT last year, I would have laughed.”
He smiled to himself, amused at how ridiculous it all sounds, looking back.
“It’s not a bad thing, things not going according to plan. Sometimes it’s just life nudging you towards something better.”
Resting her head to his shoulder she chuckled, her own eyes following the horizon line.
“You weren’t, my type I mean… Some pretty little do Gooder who couldn’t even say the word sex without blushing. I don’t know what it was, honestly, but something just drew me to you… I mean fuck, you should have run the other way when you saw me coming…”
Lacing her fingers with his, she squeezed his hand.
“But then; maybe you were looking for something that was a change. I still remember sitting at that table at your moms and thinking, fuck, nobody in this room thinks I belong and they’re right. It was one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever done in my whole damn life and the weirdest thing is, it’s also one of the most normal things.”
Lifting her head just a little, she planted a soft kiss on his jawline.
“Wanna know when I knew you were it for me?”
Logan glanced at her with a gentle smile.
“When?”
“Remember when I showed up at your place, all torn up and bleeding… with those awful stitches that you stared at in horror. I thought you were going to turn me away, I know it’s not something you’d ever seen before, not really. And I’d be gone, just disappeared with a text… But you didn’t, you cared for me, nursed me back to myself. That was when I knew, I’d never loved anyone before.”
She sighed, looking down for a moment and shaking her head.
“Everyone I’d ever trusted had hurt me, or left me. But not you; even at my lowest points you’ve always been the thing that pulled me back from the edge.”
Logan was quiet for a moment. He said nothing, but gently touched her skin, where those scars still stood out, even beneath her tattoos.
“I don’t see my dad much.”
He paused. He knew that sounded completely irrelevant, and he realized he could have started that sentence off better. He thought hard about his words.
“He’d come back, and he’d be around for a while, and then he’d have to go again. On to the next mission. On to the…. The next job.”
He frowned.
“It’s not really something you think about, but it’s always in the back of your head that… you know, maybe this time, he won’t come home. Maybe this will be the last time you get to say goodbye. And with you… I don’t know. I guess I’m used to that. I’ve grown up with that. The people I love most, leaving to do their work, and there’s never a promise that they’ll be back again. But you can’t live like that. You can’t…”
He paused again, choosing his words.
“You can’t live in constant fear that you’ll never see them again. You accept that this is their life, you hope it always goes well… and you love them that much more when they return.”
Logan gave Sephora’s hand a soft squeeze.
“I’ll never turn you away. I know that you’ve got things in your life that even now, I don’t really understand. I know that there’s some dark places in your head that you might never get rid of. I can’t be afraid of that, though. I just trust that you’ll always come back.”
She turned in her seat, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling up to kiss him softly, looking into his eyes. Her words caught in her throat for a moment, she’d never thought of it that way… or how her absences, her disappearances off in another job would affect him.
She had wanted to be out, she’d tried. But it just wasn’t her nature, she needed an outlet for those dark places he spoke about. And wrestling didn’t cut it, it dulled the sensations; it took the edge off for the most part. But sometimes she needed more… or she had, until lately. That need to breathe, that bloodlust had slowly been dulling out and that was in large part thanks to finally feeling like she had something worth coming back to.
“I don’t want that to be my life forever… I know I’ve talked about getting out before. And I know I kept going back any time I said it. But this time, it’s different. On the cusp of a new year and with everything that’s developed between us. I do, want more than the life that kinda chose me, for myself…”
Logan nodded slowly. His eyes scanned her face, taking in every small detail.
“I’d be lying if I said I was happy with the jobs you take… it still makes me nervous to see you coming home banged up and bleeding. But you’ve always said it was important. If you want out… you know I’ll do anything I can to help you.”
She smiled back at him, leaning her forehead close to his, her tone dropping to just a whisper.
“This. Exactly this, is everything that I want.”