Post by Christopher Kane on Dec 16, 2018 10:06:35 GMT -6
…::We're all architects of our own private hell
No one can hurt us like we hurt ourselves::...
~~”Bones” by Young Guns~~
No camera on him tonight. No fancy graphics. Just a black screen with a generic photo of a wrestling ring. The voice of Christopher Kane begins at the 0:03 mark.
”At the end of 2017, maybe early this year, I said that 2018 was going to be my year. The year I finally get to the top of a mountain in a company. The year I make my stamp in professional wrestling. This was going to be it. Christopher Kane was going to be a made man in this sport. And tonight, I sit here at this desk and I wonder where I went wrong. I wonder how it all went wrong for me this year. I did everything right, I thought. I thought I did what I was supposed to do. I went to the shows. I wrestled in front of people who pay for me to own a home.”
He coughed and paused for a quick moment.
”I rang in this year as the DIVINE Pro Dawn Champion and the Sex & Violence Wrestling Adrenaline Champion. Then I ran into some same ole, same ole in February where I lost that Adrenaline Title. Might have lost my mind because of the same ole, same ole and was released from that company. I was a man without an island. No place to call home anymore in this country. But Japan was going great. DIVINE Pro was that place I knew I could count on time and time again despite my issues finding a new company in the United States.
Tried joining a few places that didn’t pan out for whatever reason. Then I found a new home in Millennium Wrestling where our current champion is a joke, by the way. A complete joke and footnote in this sport as a power hungry bitch who turns tail the moment she doesn’t get her way. I could throw an example of when she got voted out of a fan based show, but this isn’t about that person.
This is about my horrible year professionally. Lost my Dawn Championship in May and with the way Millennium worked, I couldn’t work in Japan any longer. Now DIVINE is on hiatus and it breaks my heart because I loved that place. Loved watching their shows even when I was unable to continue wrestling for them.”
Some disappointment is heard in his voice when talking about DIVINE being on a hiatus and how much he really loved working for that company.
”All the while I was making horrible decisions in my personal life. From letting more women down, getting someone fired from their job and then chasing someone that ended up being nothing more than a bust, it feels like 2018 was the year where all the bad things I’ve done in my life caught up to me. I’ve gone over this before again and again. How shitty of a person I was to everyone for years without realizing it. I just…”
He stopped again and collected himself.
”I’m not going to make this same mistake again and say 2019 is going to be the year I finally get over that hump because I fell in my own hubris. I started to think that being a double champion, being in a shitty wrestling family…”
Christopher laughed, a belly laugh, before eventually calming down.
”That always gets to me. What makes this family shitty, by the way? Our conduct? Yeah, we’re stupid like that, but we get it done in the ring, don’t we? Old man, world champion. Uncle, world champion. Freya, world champion. Brittany, held a couple of titles. Jordan, held some titles. So what exactly makes us a bad family besides our conduct because when you compare lists and championships, I feel like we’re one of the best out there.
And yet, holding this Kane name, brings something with it that most people loathe. All the hate I get from people because of this last name. Because someone else happens to have it. Because my dad couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Because Freya was a fucking idiot who needed constant fucking attention. Because Britty is going to be Freya reincarnated.
But what about me? I generally keep to myself these days and you treat me like a joke now? You treat…”
The anger, the blood, reached it’s boiling point as Christopher slammed his fist onto a hard wood surface.
”If you’re going to blast me for saying dumb things and my conduct, I was 16 when I got into this sport. When you look at the people that raised me, I didn’t know any better. I thought about bragging about your dick, who you’re fucking, it was common place in this world. Then I get on social media I see the same shit that people got on me, my family for, doing the same thing. Where’s everyone jumping on them for being shitty? Where are people running down their family? Where?
No. Fucking. Where.
I don’t get it. I do my job. I go to the ring and I do what I was trained to do when I started that at 14. Two years my old man and his best friend beat the shit out of me. They tested me every single day I got in that ring to make sure I was ready. I took my lumps, paid my dues when I got into the ring as a professional.”
His voice gets a little louder with each passing word.
”Rob Diamond, in my first month of being a professional, beat the ever loving shit out of me. Nearly broke my jaw. Bloody nose. Concussion. He didn’t like the idea of me being in wrestling and took it out on me. Came back when I was cleared with a smile on my face and asked for more.
I know that everyone in this sport won’t get along. It’s a common fact. I got people that hate me. Got people that want to see me say fuck this and go find another career. Got people who keep kicking me, punching me in the dick because it’s a meme?
Or is there some other bullshit reason that the Few are doing this. That Tomoyo Hirate did it first and they decided to just go ahead and copy someone else. And for what? Actually finding success in Japan? Because I’m Kane?”
His voice went from being loud, nearly yelling to now a softer tone.
”I don’t get it. I just don’t get it anymore. Everything in this sport is geared towards the have and have nots. Because of my last name I’m probably in the have nots anymore. No one wants to see me succeed outside of my family, my girlfriend and a few others. And for what?
I love this sport. I love wrestling. It’s all I want to do with my life. I have no dreams of acting. I don’t want to be a musician. I don’t claim to be a genius. I don’t call myself the best in the world. I’m not a vindictive person, outside of a certain except because he knows he can’t fucking beat me without help. I’m not an evil man. I’m not an angel.
I’m just me, and that seems to be enough to get the ire of my peers anymore.”
Some confusion set in as he sighed.
”I’m just rambling at this point but I don’t care. 2019 won’t be my year. It’s going to be more of the same. More low blows. More everything. And I’ll keep pushing through until I get to the top of the mountain. It’s what I want in this sport. To be considered one of the best. I’ll do whatever it takes within my own morals and rules to do so.
This next year is going to be my hardest year yet. I can just kinda feel it, but that’s how I’ll bust past everyone’s bullshit regarding my family and myself.”
And the video is over.
No one can hurt us like we hurt ourselves::...
~~”Bones” by Young Guns~~
No camera on him tonight. No fancy graphics. Just a black screen with a generic photo of a wrestling ring. The voice of Christopher Kane begins at the 0:03 mark.
”At the end of 2017, maybe early this year, I said that 2018 was going to be my year. The year I finally get to the top of a mountain in a company. The year I make my stamp in professional wrestling. This was going to be it. Christopher Kane was going to be a made man in this sport. And tonight, I sit here at this desk and I wonder where I went wrong. I wonder how it all went wrong for me this year. I did everything right, I thought. I thought I did what I was supposed to do. I went to the shows. I wrestled in front of people who pay for me to own a home.”
He coughed and paused for a quick moment.
”I rang in this year as the DIVINE Pro Dawn Champion and the Sex & Violence Wrestling Adrenaline Champion. Then I ran into some same ole, same ole in February where I lost that Adrenaline Title. Might have lost my mind because of the same ole, same ole and was released from that company. I was a man without an island. No place to call home anymore in this country. But Japan was going great. DIVINE Pro was that place I knew I could count on time and time again despite my issues finding a new company in the United States.
Tried joining a few places that didn’t pan out for whatever reason. Then I found a new home in Millennium Wrestling where our current champion is a joke, by the way. A complete joke and footnote in this sport as a power hungry bitch who turns tail the moment she doesn’t get her way. I could throw an example of when she got voted out of a fan based show, but this isn’t about that person.
This is about my horrible year professionally. Lost my Dawn Championship in May and with the way Millennium worked, I couldn’t work in Japan any longer. Now DIVINE is on hiatus and it breaks my heart because I loved that place. Loved watching their shows even when I was unable to continue wrestling for them.”
Some disappointment is heard in his voice when talking about DIVINE being on a hiatus and how much he really loved working for that company.
”All the while I was making horrible decisions in my personal life. From letting more women down, getting someone fired from their job and then chasing someone that ended up being nothing more than a bust, it feels like 2018 was the year where all the bad things I’ve done in my life caught up to me. I’ve gone over this before again and again. How shitty of a person I was to everyone for years without realizing it. I just…”
He stopped again and collected himself.
”I’m not going to make this same mistake again and say 2019 is going to be the year I finally get over that hump because I fell in my own hubris. I started to think that being a double champion, being in a shitty wrestling family…”
Christopher laughed, a belly laugh, before eventually calming down.
”That always gets to me. What makes this family shitty, by the way? Our conduct? Yeah, we’re stupid like that, but we get it done in the ring, don’t we? Old man, world champion. Uncle, world champion. Freya, world champion. Brittany, held a couple of titles. Jordan, held some titles. So what exactly makes us a bad family besides our conduct because when you compare lists and championships, I feel like we’re one of the best out there.
And yet, holding this Kane name, brings something with it that most people loathe. All the hate I get from people because of this last name. Because someone else happens to have it. Because my dad couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Because Freya was a fucking idiot who needed constant fucking attention. Because Britty is going to be Freya reincarnated.
But what about me? I generally keep to myself these days and you treat me like a joke now? You treat…”
The anger, the blood, reached it’s boiling point as Christopher slammed his fist onto a hard wood surface.
”If you’re going to blast me for saying dumb things and my conduct, I was 16 when I got into this sport. When you look at the people that raised me, I didn’t know any better. I thought about bragging about your dick, who you’re fucking, it was common place in this world. Then I get on social media I see the same shit that people got on me, my family for, doing the same thing. Where’s everyone jumping on them for being shitty? Where are people running down their family? Where?
No. Fucking. Where.
I don’t get it. I do my job. I go to the ring and I do what I was trained to do when I started that at 14. Two years my old man and his best friend beat the shit out of me. They tested me every single day I got in that ring to make sure I was ready. I took my lumps, paid my dues when I got into the ring as a professional.”
His voice gets a little louder with each passing word.
”Rob Diamond, in my first month of being a professional, beat the ever loving shit out of me. Nearly broke my jaw. Bloody nose. Concussion. He didn’t like the idea of me being in wrestling and took it out on me. Came back when I was cleared with a smile on my face and asked for more.
I know that everyone in this sport won’t get along. It’s a common fact. I got people that hate me. Got people that want to see me say fuck this and go find another career. Got people who keep kicking me, punching me in the dick because it’s a meme?
Or is there some other bullshit reason that the Few are doing this. That Tomoyo Hirate did it first and they decided to just go ahead and copy someone else. And for what? Actually finding success in Japan? Because I’m Kane?”
His voice went from being loud, nearly yelling to now a softer tone.
”I don’t get it. I just don’t get it anymore. Everything in this sport is geared towards the have and have nots. Because of my last name I’m probably in the have nots anymore. No one wants to see me succeed outside of my family, my girlfriend and a few others. And for what?
I love this sport. I love wrestling. It’s all I want to do with my life. I have no dreams of acting. I don’t want to be a musician. I don’t claim to be a genius. I don’t call myself the best in the world. I’m not a vindictive person, outside of a certain except because he knows he can’t fucking beat me without help. I’m not an evil man. I’m not an angel.
I’m just me, and that seems to be enough to get the ire of my peers anymore.”
Some confusion set in as he sighed.
”I’m just rambling at this point but I don’t care. 2019 won’t be my year. It’s going to be more of the same. More low blows. More everything. And I’ll keep pushing through until I get to the top of the mountain. It’s what I want in this sport. To be considered one of the best. I’ll do whatever it takes within my own morals and rules to do so.
This next year is going to be my hardest year yet. I can just kinda feel it, but that’s how I’ll bust past everyone’s bullshit regarding my family and myself.”
And the video is over.