Post by Christopher Kane on Dec 6, 2018 20:47:59 GMT -6
(Off-Camera)
He didn’t want to be here. This… this what he had to do though. Christopher Kane adjusted his jacket after exiting the cab. There was one building he vowed to never step foot in but he had to. The IceDog Bar & Grill. He knew what was going to be in store the moment he stepped foot inside the establishment. Christopher shook the nerves out and stepped inside the bar. He quickly took a seat and hoped no one would notice him, at least not right away.
The door behind the bar swung open behind the bar as a brunette in her mid twenties walked out, brushing the light snow out of her hair and taking off her gloves, “I swear it gets colder and colder the more time we spend in Alas….. Fuck!” She froze almost instantly as her eyes settled on Christopher. “When did table 34 get here?”
Christopher kept looking around the bar with the hopes of seeing her. No, not a mistress or a side piece, rather the mother of his son. The son he’s been wanting to see for the past 10 months with no avail after realizing he didn’t want to be like his own father. Christopher stood up to get a better looking, asking another waitress. “Ma’am, do you know if Rogue is in tonight?” The waitress didn’t say a word, rather pointing to the bar.
The 22 year old nodded his head in thanks before going to the bar. Before he got there, he stopped dead in his tracks and exhaled, like his feet were nailed to the floor. Christopher, in one of the few times in his life, had no idea what to say once he got there. None at all. His mind went blank as he ducked behind a large pillar and hyperventilated. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Oh, it was a very bad idea for him to be there. Needless to say Rogue didn’t want to see him, not in the bar where she worked, not in the town that she lived. He was far too close to the people he abandoned, to the son she had been raising. He wasn’t father material, a meer sperm donor who left for a shiny new toy, three toys ago. He had hurt her in the worst way possible. Yes Ty-Two was a constant reminder of Chris in every way possible but seeing Kane in the flesh made all the feelings rush back of the loss of not only someone she had loved, but also of the twin girl that didn’t make it. Now, standing there she gripped the ice bin, and looked quite queasy. “I…” she couldn’t complete the sentence, let along any thought. The reaper was here, and he was going to try and collect.
He rubbed his face and stepped out from the pillar. Christopher took a few steps to the bar and leaned against it. He wanted a drink, but he didn’t want to break his sobriety. Instead he just goes with the first thing that does into his mind. “I imagine you don’t want me here but I can’t handle this anymore, Rogue. I can’t.” He sighed. “I know… I know what a shit I’ve been over the years but I’ve been working so hard on myself this year.”
“Yourself, what you’ve been through.” She snarled as she walked down the bar, not wanting to interact with him or make a scene.
“I know it can’t compare to what you’ve had to go through, okay. But between realizing I was becoming like my dad back in February and retracing all the steps he did that I was unintentionally doing…” He couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “I can’t make this right with you with lawyers in a courtroom. I don’t want to be here, you don’t want me here but I have to.”
He sighed again and exhaled slowly while bringing his head up. “I’m sorry. For everything. For treating you like a plaything, for choosing Avery over you, for being a dick while you were pregnant, for abandoning you when you needed me the most and I’m most sorry I haven’t been a part of his life.”
Rogue turned and looked at her ex lover, “You don’t get it do you, this isn’t about you and what a good church boy you have become, it isn’t about abandoning me, or about me at all. It stopped being about me the moment I pushed Ty out.” She growled in almost a hushed voice, Rogue was usually calm, she was sensible for the most part, not a monster Christopher had tried to paint her as. “All of your self realization, all of the conclusions on how shitty of a person you were, they don’t matter. Ty has a DADDY, and that isn’t you.”
That stung, as it usually did hearing one of Rogue’s friends saying it on Twitter. Christopher grits his teeth, trying to remain polite. “You told me before Ty was born that big Ty was going to be his daddy. You named him after him, and I didn’t fight you on it.” He wanted to punch the bar but like her, he was attempting to avoid a scene.
“You can’t keep him from me. I haven’t had a drink in nearly two years. That was one of the conditions, wasn’t it? No more drinking, no more pills. I think I’ve more than accomplished that and stayed clean.” He was starting to snarl at her now. “You don’t think you’re a monster. Every time I sent my son something, it’d get sent back to me. Gifts, cards, photos, everything sent back. So you don’t think you’re a monster? Don’t think you’ve looked in the mirror.”
“It’s called a facade Christopher, and you’re actually wearing it quite well. This chruch boy attitude you’ve been keeping is going rather well, but I see through it. Ty didn’t get the gifts because I DIDN’T GET THE GIFTS, not because I chose to send them back. You forget don’t you, I’m not a bad person, I’m just trying to protect Tyler, because he’s too young to protect himself. You didn’t make it to Elizabeth’s funeral, you don’t even acknowledge her at all. It’s all about the one child you created, not his other half that had a broken heart.” Rogue was angry, it was written on her face she didn’t want or need this stress this close to Christmas. Taking a deep breath she walked towards the coolers and grabbed a drink, letting her venom sink in a bit before spewing more truths towards her ex.
He shook his head before taking off his jacket and rolled up his sleeve to reveal a tattoo that had both Tyler and Elizabeth’s name on his inner left wrist. “I didn’t care about Elizabeth? I didn’t care? I didn’t go to the funeral out of respect for you because of you. You didn’t want me there like you don’t want me here now.”
Christopher’s anger was starting to boil. “You want to talk about being abandoned? You made it completely clear years ago that I wasn’t welcomed anymore. You, Phoenix, Robbyn and pretty much everyone in this goddamn town. So you want to talk about me abandoning everything? You saw I had problems and yet, you didn’t try to get me help for them. So I’m a shit person, we could’ve avoided most of this if you had gotten me to stop drinking. You’re no fucking angel either, Rogue.”
The pitcher of water she had grabbed from the cooler went flying in Christopher’s direction, as she was so completely pissed off, “I, I didn’t stop you from drinking, your drinking and your drug abuse was MY fault. Fuck you Christopher!” She was seething, as she threw a towel his way. “Get yourself cleaned up Chris.”
He looked at the ceiling while wiping up the water. “I’m not blaming you for the abuse. I’m saying you could’ve helped me and maybe I wouldn’t be standing in a town that wants me hung from the trees talking to you right now about this. I needed the help and Avery didn’t see it either. I put myself in this situation but I didn’t have help to know I was going down this path.”
Now he threw up his hands. “Do you think I want to have this conversation, Rogue? I’m not asking for custody. My job wouldn’t allow it. All I want is to be able to see him twice a month here, in this town. To get to know him, to talk to him about his life and play with him. I’m not asking for much. Twice a month, with you and big Ty there. That’s all I want, all I have to say. You can keep breaking my heart in the courtroom or just crush me right here in this bar.”
“You’re not stable enough for custody of my son, and until you make this about him, and what’s good for him Christopher, I don’t think it’s in his best interest.” She sighed, “He knows Ty-One isn’t his dad, he knows that there’s another boy that mommy loved.”
Christopher lowered his head down. “Wasn’t asking for custody. I just want to see him. That’s why I’m here, for him. I want to be in his life, in some way, even if you let me send voice messages, something. I’ve made…”
He stopped and turned around. He stopped talking and started making his way towards the door shaking his head.
“For once in your life DON’T WALK AWAY!” Rogue hissed, not really calling after him but trying to make him realize this was a fight he likely needed to have. “For once in your life when things get a little hard, stick it out Christopher. Make me understand this isn’t just one of your brilliant ideas that you’ll be sick of in a year. For once in your life, if you really want this, fight for it!” She let out a sigh.
Christopher turned around and had tears coming down his face. “I’ve never stopped thinking and caring about this boy. Every day I wake up and I think of how great it’d be to walk downstairs to see him watching cartoons and him asking me to make him a good breakfast. He’d ask me what we’re doing that day and we’d go to a ballgame or the park. Every day since I’ve gotten clean, Rogue, I’ve dreamed of holding him in my arms. Imagine being told how much of a fuck you up are that you can’t see your kid anymore. That because your dad beat you, drove you into a sport where you live in pain that you turned to drugs and booze to cope with that pain, that you fucked everything up so..”
He attempts to calm himself. “I get the pictures, Rogue and he looks just like me when I was that age. Spitting image of me. And because I’ve fucked up my life up so badly, I don’t get to help him learn to tie his shoes when he gets older, it’s not a life I want to live. If you asked me tonight to choose between wrestling and being in his life? I’d take him every single fucking time.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to choose, I slam the door because he doesn’t need someone to take him to ball games or tie his shoes. I slam the door because again it’s about what you want, and not exactly about what makes you happy. It’s about him.” She sighed, “I don’t know Christopher.”
He nods his head. “It’s obvious you don’t want me in his life, Rogue. Just tell me you don’t want me in this boy’s life and you’ll never hear from me again.”
The brunette almost chuckled, “You’re pathetic…” As the words fell from her mouth the sweetest voice called out, and her attention went right to the door. “Hey little man!” She scooped him up in her arms and gave the blond boy a tight cuddle, “How was school?” It was obvious she didn’t want Ty to sense her stress.
Christopher put his hand over his mouth and stood in silence trying not to tear up again. He can’t contain it anymore, his smile as he puts his eyes on his son in the flesh. Christopher couldn’t bring himself to say anything, not yet, instead looking at the boy who looks like him at three and a half years old. He opened his mouth but nothing came, instead he coughed.
“Ty, this is mommy’s friend. He’s having a really rough day today, do you want to take him to the booth you love and color with him? I’ll get you some chicken fingers.” She looked at Chris, “Mommy’s friend…”
Chris smiles as his son and shakes his little hand. “Hey Ty, I’m Chris.” He hated himself for that introduction but he couldn’t tell this kid who he is, not right now, not like this. “Show me where this booth is at.” The two went to the booth and sat across from each other. Christopher watched his son bring out a coloring book and begin to go at it, doing a great of staying in the lines.
Rogue watched them both, half impressed that Christopher didn’t screw up the introduction and smirked, bringing both the guys a rootbeer with curly straws. “Let me know if you two need anything and Ty, if you need me I’ll be right over there, ok?” She pointed to where she would be and left the boys to color.
He didn’t want to be here. This… this what he had to do though. Christopher Kane adjusted his jacket after exiting the cab. There was one building he vowed to never step foot in but he had to. The IceDog Bar & Grill. He knew what was going to be in store the moment he stepped foot inside the establishment. Christopher shook the nerves out and stepped inside the bar. He quickly took a seat and hoped no one would notice him, at least not right away.
The door behind the bar swung open behind the bar as a brunette in her mid twenties walked out, brushing the light snow out of her hair and taking off her gloves, “I swear it gets colder and colder the more time we spend in Alas….. Fuck!” She froze almost instantly as her eyes settled on Christopher. “When did table 34 get here?”
Christopher kept looking around the bar with the hopes of seeing her. No, not a mistress or a side piece, rather the mother of his son. The son he’s been wanting to see for the past 10 months with no avail after realizing he didn’t want to be like his own father. Christopher stood up to get a better looking, asking another waitress. “Ma’am, do you know if Rogue is in tonight?” The waitress didn’t say a word, rather pointing to the bar.
The 22 year old nodded his head in thanks before going to the bar. Before he got there, he stopped dead in his tracks and exhaled, like his feet were nailed to the floor. Christopher, in one of the few times in his life, had no idea what to say once he got there. None at all. His mind went blank as he ducked behind a large pillar and hyperventilated. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Oh, it was a very bad idea for him to be there. Needless to say Rogue didn’t want to see him, not in the bar where she worked, not in the town that she lived. He was far too close to the people he abandoned, to the son she had been raising. He wasn’t father material, a meer sperm donor who left for a shiny new toy, three toys ago. He had hurt her in the worst way possible. Yes Ty-Two was a constant reminder of Chris in every way possible but seeing Kane in the flesh made all the feelings rush back of the loss of not only someone she had loved, but also of the twin girl that didn’t make it. Now, standing there she gripped the ice bin, and looked quite queasy. “I…” she couldn’t complete the sentence, let along any thought. The reaper was here, and he was going to try and collect.
He rubbed his face and stepped out from the pillar. Christopher took a few steps to the bar and leaned against it. He wanted a drink, but he didn’t want to break his sobriety. Instead he just goes with the first thing that does into his mind. “I imagine you don’t want me here but I can’t handle this anymore, Rogue. I can’t.” He sighed. “I know… I know what a shit I’ve been over the years but I’ve been working so hard on myself this year.”
“Yourself, what you’ve been through.” She snarled as she walked down the bar, not wanting to interact with him or make a scene.
“I know it can’t compare to what you’ve had to go through, okay. But between realizing I was becoming like my dad back in February and retracing all the steps he did that I was unintentionally doing…” He couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “I can’t make this right with you with lawyers in a courtroom. I don’t want to be here, you don’t want me here but I have to.”
He sighed again and exhaled slowly while bringing his head up. “I’m sorry. For everything. For treating you like a plaything, for choosing Avery over you, for being a dick while you were pregnant, for abandoning you when you needed me the most and I’m most sorry I haven’t been a part of his life.”
Rogue turned and looked at her ex lover, “You don’t get it do you, this isn’t about you and what a good church boy you have become, it isn’t about abandoning me, or about me at all. It stopped being about me the moment I pushed Ty out.” She growled in almost a hushed voice, Rogue was usually calm, she was sensible for the most part, not a monster Christopher had tried to paint her as. “All of your self realization, all of the conclusions on how shitty of a person you were, they don’t matter. Ty has a DADDY, and that isn’t you.”
That stung, as it usually did hearing one of Rogue’s friends saying it on Twitter. Christopher grits his teeth, trying to remain polite. “You told me before Ty was born that big Ty was going to be his daddy. You named him after him, and I didn’t fight you on it.” He wanted to punch the bar but like her, he was attempting to avoid a scene.
“You can’t keep him from me. I haven’t had a drink in nearly two years. That was one of the conditions, wasn’t it? No more drinking, no more pills. I think I’ve more than accomplished that and stayed clean.” He was starting to snarl at her now. “You don’t think you’re a monster. Every time I sent my son something, it’d get sent back to me. Gifts, cards, photos, everything sent back. So you don’t think you’re a monster? Don’t think you’ve looked in the mirror.”
“It’s called a facade Christopher, and you’re actually wearing it quite well. This chruch boy attitude you’ve been keeping is going rather well, but I see through it. Ty didn’t get the gifts because I DIDN’T GET THE GIFTS, not because I chose to send them back. You forget don’t you, I’m not a bad person, I’m just trying to protect Tyler, because he’s too young to protect himself. You didn’t make it to Elizabeth’s funeral, you don’t even acknowledge her at all. It’s all about the one child you created, not his other half that had a broken heart.” Rogue was angry, it was written on her face she didn’t want or need this stress this close to Christmas. Taking a deep breath she walked towards the coolers and grabbed a drink, letting her venom sink in a bit before spewing more truths towards her ex.
He shook his head before taking off his jacket and rolled up his sleeve to reveal a tattoo that had both Tyler and Elizabeth’s name on his inner left wrist. “I didn’t care about Elizabeth? I didn’t care? I didn’t go to the funeral out of respect for you because of you. You didn’t want me there like you don’t want me here now.”
Christopher’s anger was starting to boil. “You want to talk about being abandoned? You made it completely clear years ago that I wasn’t welcomed anymore. You, Phoenix, Robbyn and pretty much everyone in this goddamn town. So you want to talk about me abandoning everything? You saw I had problems and yet, you didn’t try to get me help for them. So I’m a shit person, we could’ve avoided most of this if you had gotten me to stop drinking. You’re no fucking angel either, Rogue.”
The pitcher of water she had grabbed from the cooler went flying in Christopher’s direction, as she was so completely pissed off, “I, I didn’t stop you from drinking, your drinking and your drug abuse was MY fault. Fuck you Christopher!” She was seething, as she threw a towel his way. “Get yourself cleaned up Chris.”
He looked at the ceiling while wiping up the water. “I’m not blaming you for the abuse. I’m saying you could’ve helped me and maybe I wouldn’t be standing in a town that wants me hung from the trees talking to you right now about this. I needed the help and Avery didn’t see it either. I put myself in this situation but I didn’t have help to know I was going down this path.”
Now he threw up his hands. “Do you think I want to have this conversation, Rogue? I’m not asking for custody. My job wouldn’t allow it. All I want is to be able to see him twice a month here, in this town. To get to know him, to talk to him about his life and play with him. I’m not asking for much. Twice a month, with you and big Ty there. That’s all I want, all I have to say. You can keep breaking my heart in the courtroom or just crush me right here in this bar.”
“You’re not stable enough for custody of my son, and until you make this about him, and what’s good for him Christopher, I don’t think it’s in his best interest.” She sighed, “He knows Ty-One isn’t his dad, he knows that there’s another boy that mommy loved.”
Christopher lowered his head down. “Wasn’t asking for custody. I just want to see him. That’s why I’m here, for him. I want to be in his life, in some way, even if you let me send voice messages, something. I’ve made…”
He stopped and turned around. He stopped talking and started making his way towards the door shaking his head.
“For once in your life DON’T WALK AWAY!” Rogue hissed, not really calling after him but trying to make him realize this was a fight he likely needed to have. “For once in your life when things get a little hard, stick it out Christopher. Make me understand this isn’t just one of your brilliant ideas that you’ll be sick of in a year. For once in your life, if you really want this, fight for it!” She let out a sigh.
Christopher turned around and had tears coming down his face. “I’ve never stopped thinking and caring about this boy. Every day I wake up and I think of how great it’d be to walk downstairs to see him watching cartoons and him asking me to make him a good breakfast. He’d ask me what we’re doing that day and we’d go to a ballgame or the park. Every day since I’ve gotten clean, Rogue, I’ve dreamed of holding him in my arms. Imagine being told how much of a fuck you up are that you can’t see your kid anymore. That because your dad beat you, drove you into a sport where you live in pain that you turned to drugs and booze to cope with that pain, that you fucked everything up so..”
He attempts to calm himself. “I get the pictures, Rogue and he looks just like me when I was that age. Spitting image of me. And because I’ve fucked up my life up so badly, I don’t get to help him learn to tie his shoes when he gets older, it’s not a life I want to live. If you asked me tonight to choose between wrestling and being in his life? I’d take him every single fucking time.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to choose, I slam the door because he doesn’t need someone to take him to ball games or tie his shoes. I slam the door because again it’s about what you want, and not exactly about what makes you happy. It’s about him.” She sighed, “I don’t know Christopher.”
He nods his head. “It’s obvious you don’t want me in his life, Rogue. Just tell me you don’t want me in this boy’s life and you’ll never hear from me again.”
The brunette almost chuckled, “You’re pathetic…” As the words fell from her mouth the sweetest voice called out, and her attention went right to the door. “Hey little man!” She scooped him up in her arms and gave the blond boy a tight cuddle, “How was school?” It was obvious she didn’t want Ty to sense her stress.
Christopher put his hand over his mouth and stood in silence trying not to tear up again. He can’t contain it anymore, his smile as he puts his eyes on his son in the flesh. Christopher couldn’t bring himself to say anything, not yet, instead looking at the boy who looks like him at three and a half years old. He opened his mouth but nothing came, instead he coughed.
“Ty, this is mommy’s friend. He’s having a really rough day today, do you want to take him to the booth you love and color with him? I’ll get you some chicken fingers.” She looked at Chris, “Mommy’s friend…”
Chris smiles as his son and shakes his little hand. “Hey Ty, I’m Chris.” He hated himself for that introduction but he couldn’t tell this kid who he is, not right now, not like this. “Show me where this booth is at.” The two went to the booth and sat across from each other. Christopher watched his son bring out a coloring book and begin to go at it, doing a great of staying in the lines.
Rogue watched them both, half impressed that Christopher didn’t screw up the introduction and smirked, bringing both the guys a rootbeer with curly straws. “Let me know if you two need anything and Ty, if you need me I’ll be right over there, ok?” She pointed to where she would be and left the boys to color.