Post by matt on Jul 19, 2021 6:35:08 GMT -6
==========
Salem, Massachusetts
Off Camera
==========
‘Team building exercises’ is the term given to this latest series of activities from Kimberly Williams for herself and her half-sister and tag team partner Jessica Lasiewicz. If you ask Jessica, she isn’t certain that they need any team building exercises. They are sisters, after all. You don’t get much more chemistry than what they have. They are a natural born team all on their own. And even if they did need to work on their teamwork, Jessica certainly doesn’t believe that Kimberly’s unorthodox exercises are very helpful. In fact, as with most of the eccentric plans from the devious mind of The Woman Scorned, there are ulterior motives when it comes to these team building exercises. Kimberly doesn’t just want to help build teamwork and chemistry with Lasiewicz, but she also wants to help her half-sister loosen up, relax, and learn to “live a little” as she puts it.
Kimberly’s first attempt at this team building/relaxation exercise was an insanely dangerous escape room modeled and themed after the American Revolutionary War. Jessica was assaulted by a Hell’s Angel biker dressed as a “redcoat” and Abigail Lindsey dressed as Benedict Arnold. And there may have been a bomb in there too! Luckily they did escape with their lives but not before Kimberly promised more of these team building exercises. Jessica would be kept in the dark about her eccentric half-sister’s mischief until just recently, not knowing exactly what Kimberly had planned. And now Jessica Lasiewicz finds herself standing just outside of a colonial style mansion in Salem, Massachusetts.
“So this is Salem?”
Jessica says this while gazing up at the mansion. Even The Archangel must admit that this colonial style mansion is very beautiful in its design. Despite having spent much of her time in Massachusetts she has never once visited Salem, the place famous (or infamous) for the Salem Witch Trials. Kimberly has yet to tell her about what this particular place is or what they are doing here but for now she is enjoying the beauty of the view that she currently has. Jessica is also grateful for the fact that Kimberly didn’t insist on them wearing any fancy outfits. During the escape room disaster Jessica had to fight for her life while wearing a big poofy yellow dress. Kimberly got to wear something at least a little more manageable for a fight, as she wore a revolutionary war soldier’s attire. How they survived Kim’s little death trap is still a mystery to Jessica, but at least for this evening’s event, whatever it may be, they will be dressed more comfortably.
“Yup! Have you ever been here before?” Kim asks. Jessica shakes her head.
“Never. When you’re the daughter of not just one but two wrestlers you kinda spend too much time on the road to enjoy historic places like…” Jessica catches herself and stops “...sorry, I forgot that you never got to be raised by mom. I was insensitive; I apologize.”
“It’s no biggie. Mom gave me up at my birth to a sociopath who raised me and trained me to be a psychotic killer whose sole mission was to burn the entirety of creation to the ground. But I’ve gotten over that. I hold no grudges.” Kimberly says all of this playfully and cheerfully. Any other person would be scared to death at Kim’s words and the creepy way she said it but Jessica has learned to ‘read’ her sister by now and she knows Kimberly is just messing around.
“So I take it you have been here before, Kim?”
“Uh-huh; Emma...that sociopath who raised me...she would take me from time to time. It was part of one of her weird lessons.”
“Lessons?” Jessica arches an eyebrow out of curiosity.
“Yeah. Salem is the historic site of the Salem Witch Trials. People were convicted on bogus charges of witchcraft and then executed, all because of fear, fear of what the mass of uneducated fools did not understand. Hell, you could start throwing a fit, act like you’re having a seizure, then point the finger at your arch nemesis and blame them…” Kim snaps her fingers “...and just like that your arch nemesis is arrested, tried, convicted, and executed. A real black mark on our history. But all of this was made possible because of fear. And Emma wanted to teach me about how I could use fear to hurt anyone and everyone around me, she wants to teach me to use fear to get power.”
“Uh, Kim...if you don’t mind me asking, how old were you when Emma started teaching you these things?”
“Five.”
Jessica sighs and rolls her eyes. She wishes Kimberly were joking but she is afraid that her half-sister is probably telling the truth. Emma is the woman who raised Kimberly and she was more dangerous and deadly than Kim herself, mainly because Emma had no feelings or emotions. Kim at least is in touch with her feelings and can control herself when necessary. Hearing that Emma was trying to twist her and corrupt her even at the young age of five brings rage into the heart and soul of Jessica Lasiewicz.
“I am so sorry that you had to go through all that, Kim.” Jessica approaches her sister with outstretched arms but Kim backs away.
“Whoa, wait a sec there, Jess.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I do allow people to feel sorry for me about my past and show love and affection because of my past, but I only allow it three times a year. You’ve already used up one of those signs of affection. If you hug me now you will only have one time left for the remainder of 2021?”
“I’ll make due…” Lasiewicz rolls her eyes and then embraces Kimberly in a tight hug. Upon breaking the hug Jessica motions back to the colonial home. “So what is this place and what are we doing here?”
“This is the Turner-Ingersoll Mansion. Have you heard of it before?”
“No. Should I have?” Jessica asks, shaking her head.
“Well you may have heard of it by another name; House of Seven Gables.”
“Wait, this is THE House of Seven Gables?”
“The novel is based upon it, yes. People tour it all of the time.”
Jessica takes in this information that she just heard from her demented half-sister. She always loved The House of Seven Gables but never realized how close she was to it. She is enthralled again by its beauty. But then she looks at a hint of mischief in Kimberly’s eyes. Jessica frowns and folds her arms over her chest.
“We’re not here for a tour, are we?”
“Of course not! A mere little tour wouldn’t challenge us in any way, it wouldn’t prepare us for the wars to come, and it certainly wouldn’t help you become more interesting!”
“I am interesting!”
“No you’re not.” Kimberly says with a playful wink. “But I am working on it. You definitely became a little more interesting after your experience in the Escape Room and after tonight you will be even more interesting.”
“That escape room damn near killed me. What sort of death traps do you have planned for me in there?”
“Funny you should say death traps because that House of Seven Gables right over there is supposedly haunted.”
“I don’t believe in ghosts.”
“You’re entitled to your opinion but many staff and visitors to this place have reported strange paranormal activity. Some have witnessed the spirit of a man climbing up and down the famous secret staircase. Most believe him to be related somehow to the Underground Railroad that went on during the Civil War. But I did research of my own and this house was never a stop on the Underground Railroad so if that spirit is in fact there, I’m not sure who it is.”
“Lovely…” Jessica says, sarcasm dripping from her voice “...anything else?”
“Some report seeing the ghost of a little boy playing in the attic. During the day people here footsteps from above, or they may hear giggling or laughing, and they assume its him. And last but certainly not least, some have claimed to see the ghost of Susannah Ingersoll herself, the cousin of Nathaniel Hawthorne who lived at this place.”
“Great. A male ghost, a female ghost, and a boy ghost. A whole ghost family. And we’re investigating this place?”
“Yep! I already got permission to investigate it. They left it closed so we can have it all to ourselves. And we got the perfect resource to help us find these ghosts.” Kimberly snaps her fingers and her trusty Dalek comes rolling into view. Jessica rolls her eyes.
“The Dalek? That rusty piece of crap is supposed to help?!”
“I AM A CERTIFIED GHOST HUNTER! YOU SHALL RESPECT ME!”
Kimberly pats the Dalek on top of its domed head. “Dalek is right. He is a certified ghost hunter. And by certified I mean that I had a SB11 Spirit Box installed.”
“What the hell is that?”
“SB11 Spirit Box? It is a device that rapidly scans through multiple radio channels, making it relatively easy for spirits and such to manipulate the airwaves and thus speak a phrase in real time.”
“And I’m expected to believe that this will work?”
“It’s used on all the great paranormal investigating shows like Ghost Adventures, Ghost Nation, Ghost Brothers, and…”
“AND THE SHOW WHERE HUMAN FLESH CREATURES MUST SURVIVE THE GHOST PEPPER CHALLENGE!” Dalek says in its shrieking robotic voice. Kimberly smacks it on top of its domed head.
“Wrong show, Rusty!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.” Jessica sighs and shakes her head.
“Great. So are you game?”
“Fine, we can do it. Are we waiting until nightfall or what?”
“Waiting? Why would we wait?” Kimberly says snickering. “We’re doing this now!”
Kimberly skips happily towards the House of Seven Gables Mansion. The loyal Dalek follows Kimberly closely behind. Jessica sighs in anticipation of what may be coming next. She recalls that Kimberly claimed that there were no death traps; just death, or a ghost hunt as it were. Still, she never knows what to expect from her half-sister. Jessica begins marching towards the home, eventually catching up to Kimberly as she and the Dalek enter the House of Seven Gables home.
“I always wanted to come here, but not like this.”
“Oh quit being such a downer. This is exactly why we need to do stuff like this, Jess. You need to learn to enjoy life and loosen up and…”
“Live a little. I know, you’ve told me all this already. But how is this supposed to help?”
“It is all about spontaneity, Jess. We don’t know what might happen in a paranormal investigation. Maybe nothing will happen? Or maybe we will both have evil demonic spirits attach to us, follow us home, and torture us in mind, body, and soul until we both die a horrible, painful death and are then forced to live in agony in our eternal afterlives!”
“Oh is that all?” Jessica says frowning. “What about the so-called teamwork?”
“Well you never know what kind of mind games our opponents may play against us in the ring. And an investigation like this will help our minds prepare for anything.”
The Archangel isn’t buying any of this but if Kimberly thinks this will help she will give it a try. Besides, they are here already, no use leaving now. Jessica nods her head. “Ok, so what do we do first?”
“Dalek, did you bring the ouji board?”
“AFFIRMATIVE!”
The Dalek rolls back over, this time with a bag. Kimberly reaches inside and produces the ouji board. She sets it down on the floor and Kimberly sits down herself. She motions for Jessica to sit down as well and reluctantly Lasiewicz does so.
“Now what?”
“Now put your hands on this piece.” She places her sister’s hands on the moveable piece. “And just let it move as the spirit moves.”
“You know how crazy that sounds, right?”
Shut up!” Kim exclaims. “Whoever is here with us, tell us your name!”
The pointer moves towards the letter “D”. They wait to see if it will guide them somewhere else but nothing happens. Kim furrows her brow in confusion but Jessica is just unimpressed. “D? Is that it?”
The piece points to the word “YES” in the upper corner. “Uh, ok...are you The Lizard King?”
The piece moves to the word “NO”. “Ok...your name is D and you are not The Lizard King. Can I get a raise?”
The piece moves back to the word “YES”. Kimberly shouts excitedly. “Awesome!”
“I seriously doubt that.” Jessica whispers. Kimberly hushes her before continuing.
“Do you have any other messages for us?”
The piece moves to the letter “H”
The piece moves to the letter “I”
The piece moves to the letter “T”
The piece moves to the letter “W”
The piece moves to the letter “A”
The piece moves to the letter “S”
The piece moves to the letter “L”
The piece moves to the letter “E”
The piece moves to the letter “Y”
The piece moves to the letter “W”
The piece moves to the letter “I”
The piece moves to the letter “T”
The piece moves to the letter “H”
The piece moves to the letter “C”
The piece moves to the letter “H”
The piece moves to the letter “A”
The piece moves to the letter “I”
The piece moves to the letter “R”
Kimberly furrows her brow. “Wait...Hit Wasley With Chair? That’s rude! Why would he wanna do that to my boyfriend?!”
“Kim, I admit that this ouji board stuff is kind of creepy, but you can’t honestly believe any of what it just said do you? This is just all too convenient, y’know?”
“Well then how do you explain it, Miss Smarty Pants?”
“I don’t know. It just seems too unbelievable to me. Too…wild…”
“Ok, so lets try and verify the ouji board findings with our SB11 Spirit Box.” Kimberly hops off and goes over to her Dalek. She presses a button to activate the Spirit Box. “D, are you still here with us?”
“NO!”
“Oh, then who is here with us?”
“I HATE CATS!”
Jessica is still thoroughly unimpressed. “How do I know that came from the Spirit Box and not from the Dalek?”
“Because I turned the Spirit Box on and the Dalek off. Now quit disrespecting the spirits or else they may attack you physically.”
“Whatever.” Jessica rolls her eyes.
“I apologize for my friend!” Kim announces loudly to whatever ‘spirits’ (if any) may be in the room. “So, uh, Mr. Spirit Person...or Mrs. Spirit Person, however you choose to identify yourself...can you tell me if I’m gonna retain the MWE Chicago Way Championship at Glory Horizons?”
“YES!”
“Yay!” Kim jumps up and down, ecstatic about the ridiculous ‘prediction’. But then she stops suddenly as she begins to think about it a little more. “Uh, does that mean YES I will win or YES you can tell me?”
“YES!”
“Yes I can? Or Yes I am?”
“YES!”
Williams stomps on the floor like a petulant child who hasn’t been given what she wants; which in this case, isn’t far from the truth. “Damn it! Just answer my question you stupid ghost!”
“HOW RUDE!”
“I know you are but what am I?” Kimberly says, sticking her tongue out. Meanwhile her half-sister Jessica is rolling her eyes furiously.
“Please, Kim, don’t tell me you actually buy into this junk?” Jessica motions to the Dalek, where the voices are coming from. “Isn’t it obvious that you’re just having a conversation with this stupid machine?!”
“Stupid?!” Kim jumps up and rushes over to her Dalek. She places two hands over its domed head. “She didn’t mean that, Rusty. Jessica is just grouchy.”
“Grouchy and frustrated. This is pointless, Kim! What purpose does any of this serve?”
“We’re attempting to prove the existence of life after death, for starters. Second, we are working on preparing ourselves for the unexpected. We are preparing our minds for the mental assault of the unknown.”
“Yeah, you’ve said that quite a bit tonight, but what does that mean exactly?”
“Well we have no idea what this spirit may do to us, especially now that you have provoked it.” Kim points an accusatory finger at her half-sister. “You questioned this spirit’s existence and by doing so you have insulted it, offended it, and now it may take its revenge.”
Lasiewicz shakes her head defiantly. “Bring it on. Even if this were true, which it isn’t, I’m still not afraid.”
Kim smirks knowingly. “Great, then you won’t mind if I continue with the line of questioning.”
“If it makes you happy then go for it.”
Kim spins around the room, as if she is trying to get the attention of this spirit. “Tell me, what is your name?”
“JAMES!”
“Oh, interesting!” Kim furrows her brow. “James Evans?”
“INCORRECT!”
“He’s not dead, Kim.” Jessica says out of frustration.
“Oh yeah! Uh...James Edwards?”
“INCORRECT!”
“He isn’t dead, either.”
“Former President James Buchanan?”
“INCORRECT!”
Jessica shakes her head. “He isn’t dea…” Jessica catches herself “...ok, yeah, he is dead.”
“So you’re not James Evans and you’re not James Edwards and you’re not James Buchanan. Then what is your name?”
Suddenly Jessica falls over, having been rolled up from behind by a person that came out of nowhere, from within the shadows. Jessica’s shoulders are down and a loud thud can be heard as someone is rapping on the floor...1...2...3!
“Whoo hoo!” The celebratory voice is familiar. Jessica gets up and dusts herself in time to see Sophie James jumping up in the air in celebration. “I won back the Lizard Championship!”
Sophie walks over and embraces Kim in a hug. “Thanks, sweetie! That was awesome shit! And handling the Dalek was fun!” She hands Kimberly the remote control to the Dalek. Kim snickers.
“Isn’t he the best?”
“Of course! You are so lucky to have your own personal Dalek and…” Jessica rolls Sophie up… “...HEY!”
Kimberly down to count the pin...1….2...3!
“Five time champion, baby!” Jessica jumps up and celebrates like she just won a world title, but its just a fake championship. “Yes!!!” Before Sophie or anyone else can give chase, Jessica rushes out of the door and out of the house. Kimberly walks over to Sophie and helps her back up to her feet.
“Thanks for the assist, Sophie.”
“Not a prob. I see your sister is making progress.”
“Yep. I’m gonna pull that stick out of her ass even if it kills me.” She smiles devilishly. “Or her.”
Kimberly gives Sophie a quick hug before turning and running out of the House of Seven Gables home to attempt to catch up to her sister. As soon as The Woman Scorned is outside she finds Jessica across the street, sitting on a black bench by herself. Williams waves furiously at Jessica but gets no response. The eccentric ginger then makes her way across the street and gazes down at Jessica.
“Soooooo how did you enjoy the House of Seven Gables?”
“It was a waste of time.”
“Awwww, now why do you say that?”
“You had this whole thing set up from the beginning, didn’t you? You didn’t have any SB11 Spirit whatever programmed into your stupid tin can robot. You just had Sophie operating him from another room. She was the one providing the words. And it was probably you moving that ouji board to spell out those words, wasn’t it?”
“Maaaaaybe?” Kimberly says, smiling sheepishly.
“Then this was nothing. It meant nothing. Well, it meant nothing to me. For you it was probably hilarious. This was all you playing a joke on me and nothing else.” Jessica sighs as she looks back up at the House of Seven Gables. “I really was excited about this when you first told me what this place was. A part of me was even somewhat excited about a paranormal investigation. But then this…”
“Wait a sec,” Kimberly sits down on the bench next to Jessica and wraps an arm around her shoulder “you have been poo-pooing the whole idea of a paranormal investigation. You told me you didn’t believe in any of it. But now you changed your tune. Now you say you were excited about it? You could have just walked out of the house. No one was stopping you. Just like being Lizard Champion. No one says you have to keep fighting for it, and yet twice you lost it...once to Abi and today to Sophie...and both times you could have just let them have it and walk away. But you fought for it.”
“Because this crap is fun for you!” Jessica snaps. “I’m doing this for you!”
Kimberly chuckles and shakes her head. “Nope. Not buying it.”
“So what do you think, Kim? What is your explanation behind all of this? Because I would like to know what is going on in that head of yours, especially since you’ve put me through that damn escape room and now this nonsense!”
“Well I have a theory that underneath the rough, stony, stoic exterior you put forward for the public, lies someone who is more laid back and fun loving, like me! The fact that you were disappointed that I rigged this whole paranormal investigation and the fact that you just HAD to win back a fake championship that no promotion recognizes is proof of my theory.”
“You’re nuts, you know that?” Jessica says, rolling her eyes.
“Nuttier than a fruitcake! But I am still right.”
Kimberly watches her sister’s facial features as they slowly go from stoic to finally cracking a small smile. Then Jessica lets out a light laugh and nods her head. “I have to admit, the past few weeks have added a little more excitement to my laugh…”
“A little more?”
“Ok, fine, a LOT more excitement!” Jessica exclaims as she looks over at Kim. “But why go to all of this trouble?”
“Do you have to ask?” Kim says as she embraces Jessica in a tight hug. “Because I love you, sis, and I hated seeing you so down on yourself, so depressed, and bitter. I wanted to bring some life back to your soul, y’know what I mean?”
Lasiewicz nods her head. “I think so, yeah. But what do you get out of this?”
“Nothing except the pleasure of knowing that I helped you.”
Salem, Massachusetts
Off Camera
==========
‘Team building exercises’ is the term given to this latest series of activities from Kimberly Williams for herself and her half-sister and tag team partner Jessica Lasiewicz. If you ask Jessica, she isn’t certain that they need any team building exercises. They are sisters, after all. You don’t get much more chemistry than what they have. They are a natural born team all on their own. And even if they did need to work on their teamwork, Jessica certainly doesn’t believe that Kimberly’s unorthodox exercises are very helpful. In fact, as with most of the eccentric plans from the devious mind of The Woman Scorned, there are ulterior motives when it comes to these team building exercises. Kimberly doesn’t just want to help build teamwork and chemistry with Lasiewicz, but she also wants to help her half-sister loosen up, relax, and learn to “live a little” as she puts it.
Kimberly’s first attempt at this team building/relaxation exercise was an insanely dangerous escape room modeled and themed after the American Revolutionary War. Jessica was assaulted by a Hell’s Angel biker dressed as a “redcoat” and Abigail Lindsey dressed as Benedict Arnold. And there may have been a bomb in there too! Luckily they did escape with their lives but not before Kimberly promised more of these team building exercises. Jessica would be kept in the dark about her eccentric half-sister’s mischief until just recently, not knowing exactly what Kimberly had planned. And now Jessica Lasiewicz finds herself standing just outside of a colonial style mansion in Salem, Massachusetts.
“So this is Salem?”
Jessica says this while gazing up at the mansion. Even The Archangel must admit that this colonial style mansion is very beautiful in its design. Despite having spent much of her time in Massachusetts she has never once visited Salem, the place famous (or infamous) for the Salem Witch Trials. Kimberly has yet to tell her about what this particular place is or what they are doing here but for now she is enjoying the beauty of the view that she currently has. Jessica is also grateful for the fact that Kimberly didn’t insist on them wearing any fancy outfits. During the escape room disaster Jessica had to fight for her life while wearing a big poofy yellow dress. Kimberly got to wear something at least a little more manageable for a fight, as she wore a revolutionary war soldier’s attire. How they survived Kim’s little death trap is still a mystery to Jessica, but at least for this evening’s event, whatever it may be, they will be dressed more comfortably.
“Yup! Have you ever been here before?” Kim asks. Jessica shakes her head.
“Never. When you’re the daughter of not just one but two wrestlers you kinda spend too much time on the road to enjoy historic places like…” Jessica catches herself and stops “...sorry, I forgot that you never got to be raised by mom. I was insensitive; I apologize.”
“It’s no biggie. Mom gave me up at my birth to a sociopath who raised me and trained me to be a psychotic killer whose sole mission was to burn the entirety of creation to the ground. But I’ve gotten over that. I hold no grudges.” Kimberly says all of this playfully and cheerfully. Any other person would be scared to death at Kim’s words and the creepy way she said it but Jessica has learned to ‘read’ her sister by now and she knows Kimberly is just messing around.
“So I take it you have been here before, Kim?”
“Uh-huh; Emma...that sociopath who raised me...she would take me from time to time. It was part of one of her weird lessons.”
“Lessons?” Jessica arches an eyebrow out of curiosity.
“Yeah. Salem is the historic site of the Salem Witch Trials. People were convicted on bogus charges of witchcraft and then executed, all because of fear, fear of what the mass of uneducated fools did not understand. Hell, you could start throwing a fit, act like you’re having a seizure, then point the finger at your arch nemesis and blame them…” Kim snaps her fingers “...and just like that your arch nemesis is arrested, tried, convicted, and executed. A real black mark on our history. But all of this was made possible because of fear. And Emma wanted to teach me about how I could use fear to hurt anyone and everyone around me, she wants to teach me to use fear to get power.”
“Uh, Kim...if you don’t mind me asking, how old were you when Emma started teaching you these things?”
“Five.”
Jessica sighs and rolls her eyes. She wishes Kimberly were joking but she is afraid that her half-sister is probably telling the truth. Emma is the woman who raised Kimberly and she was more dangerous and deadly than Kim herself, mainly because Emma had no feelings or emotions. Kim at least is in touch with her feelings and can control herself when necessary. Hearing that Emma was trying to twist her and corrupt her even at the young age of five brings rage into the heart and soul of Jessica Lasiewicz.
“I am so sorry that you had to go through all that, Kim.” Jessica approaches her sister with outstretched arms but Kim backs away.
“Whoa, wait a sec there, Jess.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I do allow people to feel sorry for me about my past and show love and affection because of my past, but I only allow it three times a year. You’ve already used up one of those signs of affection. If you hug me now you will only have one time left for the remainder of 2021?”
“I’ll make due…” Lasiewicz rolls her eyes and then embraces Kimberly in a tight hug. Upon breaking the hug Jessica motions back to the colonial home. “So what is this place and what are we doing here?”
“This is the Turner-Ingersoll Mansion. Have you heard of it before?”
“No. Should I have?” Jessica asks, shaking her head.
“Well you may have heard of it by another name; House of Seven Gables.”
“Wait, this is THE House of Seven Gables?”
“The novel is based upon it, yes. People tour it all of the time.”
Jessica takes in this information that she just heard from her demented half-sister. She always loved The House of Seven Gables but never realized how close she was to it. She is enthralled again by its beauty. But then she looks at a hint of mischief in Kimberly’s eyes. Jessica frowns and folds her arms over her chest.
“We’re not here for a tour, are we?”
“Of course not! A mere little tour wouldn’t challenge us in any way, it wouldn’t prepare us for the wars to come, and it certainly wouldn’t help you become more interesting!”
“I am interesting!”
“No you’re not.” Kimberly says with a playful wink. “But I am working on it. You definitely became a little more interesting after your experience in the Escape Room and after tonight you will be even more interesting.”
“That escape room damn near killed me. What sort of death traps do you have planned for me in there?”
“Funny you should say death traps because that House of Seven Gables right over there is supposedly haunted.”
“I don’t believe in ghosts.”
“You’re entitled to your opinion but many staff and visitors to this place have reported strange paranormal activity. Some have witnessed the spirit of a man climbing up and down the famous secret staircase. Most believe him to be related somehow to the Underground Railroad that went on during the Civil War. But I did research of my own and this house was never a stop on the Underground Railroad so if that spirit is in fact there, I’m not sure who it is.”
“Lovely…” Jessica says, sarcasm dripping from her voice “...anything else?”
“Some report seeing the ghost of a little boy playing in the attic. During the day people here footsteps from above, or they may hear giggling or laughing, and they assume its him. And last but certainly not least, some have claimed to see the ghost of Susannah Ingersoll herself, the cousin of Nathaniel Hawthorne who lived at this place.”
“Great. A male ghost, a female ghost, and a boy ghost. A whole ghost family. And we’re investigating this place?”
“Yep! I already got permission to investigate it. They left it closed so we can have it all to ourselves. And we got the perfect resource to help us find these ghosts.” Kimberly snaps her fingers and her trusty Dalek comes rolling into view. Jessica rolls her eyes.
“The Dalek? That rusty piece of crap is supposed to help?!”
“I AM A CERTIFIED GHOST HUNTER! YOU SHALL RESPECT ME!”
Kimberly pats the Dalek on top of its domed head. “Dalek is right. He is a certified ghost hunter. And by certified I mean that I had a SB11 Spirit Box installed.”
“What the hell is that?”
“SB11 Spirit Box? It is a device that rapidly scans through multiple radio channels, making it relatively easy for spirits and such to manipulate the airwaves and thus speak a phrase in real time.”
“And I’m expected to believe that this will work?”
“It’s used on all the great paranormal investigating shows like Ghost Adventures, Ghost Nation, Ghost Brothers, and…”
“AND THE SHOW WHERE HUMAN FLESH CREATURES MUST SURVIVE THE GHOST PEPPER CHALLENGE!” Dalek says in its shrieking robotic voice. Kimberly smacks it on top of its domed head.
“Wrong show, Rusty!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.” Jessica sighs and shakes her head.
“Great. So are you game?”
“Fine, we can do it. Are we waiting until nightfall or what?”
“Waiting? Why would we wait?” Kimberly says snickering. “We’re doing this now!”
Kimberly skips happily towards the House of Seven Gables Mansion. The loyal Dalek follows Kimberly closely behind. Jessica sighs in anticipation of what may be coming next. She recalls that Kimberly claimed that there were no death traps; just death, or a ghost hunt as it were. Still, she never knows what to expect from her half-sister. Jessica begins marching towards the home, eventually catching up to Kimberly as she and the Dalek enter the House of Seven Gables home.
“I always wanted to come here, but not like this.”
“Oh quit being such a downer. This is exactly why we need to do stuff like this, Jess. You need to learn to enjoy life and loosen up and…”
“Live a little. I know, you’ve told me all this already. But how is this supposed to help?”
“It is all about spontaneity, Jess. We don’t know what might happen in a paranormal investigation. Maybe nothing will happen? Or maybe we will both have evil demonic spirits attach to us, follow us home, and torture us in mind, body, and soul until we both die a horrible, painful death and are then forced to live in agony in our eternal afterlives!”
“Oh is that all?” Jessica says frowning. “What about the so-called teamwork?”
“Well you never know what kind of mind games our opponents may play against us in the ring. And an investigation like this will help our minds prepare for anything.”
The Archangel isn’t buying any of this but if Kimberly thinks this will help she will give it a try. Besides, they are here already, no use leaving now. Jessica nods her head. “Ok, so what do we do first?”
“Dalek, did you bring the ouji board?”
“AFFIRMATIVE!”
The Dalek rolls back over, this time with a bag. Kimberly reaches inside and produces the ouji board. She sets it down on the floor and Kimberly sits down herself. She motions for Jessica to sit down as well and reluctantly Lasiewicz does so.
“Now what?”
“Now put your hands on this piece.” She places her sister’s hands on the moveable piece. “And just let it move as the spirit moves.”
“You know how crazy that sounds, right?”
Shut up!” Kim exclaims. “Whoever is here with us, tell us your name!”
The pointer moves towards the letter “D”. They wait to see if it will guide them somewhere else but nothing happens. Kim furrows her brow in confusion but Jessica is just unimpressed. “D? Is that it?”
The piece points to the word “YES” in the upper corner. “Uh, ok...are you The Lizard King?”
The piece moves to the word “NO”. “Ok...your name is D and you are not The Lizard King. Can I get a raise?”
The piece moves back to the word “YES”. Kimberly shouts excitedly. “Awesome!”
“I seriously doubt that.” Jessica whispers. Kimberly hushes her before continuing.
“Do you have any other messages for us?”
The piece moves to the letter “H”
The piece moves to the letter “I”
The piece moves to the letter “T”
The piece moves to the letter “W”
The piece moves to the letter “A”
The piece moves to the letter “S”
The piece moves to the letter “L”
The piece moves to the letter “E”
The piece moves to the letter “Y”
The piece moves to the letter “W”
The piece moves to the letter “I”
The piece moves to the letter “T”
The piece moves to the letter “H”
The piece moves to the letter “C”
The piece moves to the letter “H”
The piece moves to the letter “A”
The piece moves to the letter “I”
The piece moves to the letter “R”
Kimberly furrows her brow. “Wait...Hit Wasley With Chair? That’s rude! Why would he wanna do that to my boyfriend?!”
“Kim, I admit that this ouji board stuff is kind of creepy, but you can’t honestly believe any of what it just said do you? This is just all too convenient, y’know?”
“Well then how do you explain it, Miss Smarty Pants?”
“I don’t know. It just seems too unbelievable to me. Too…wild…”
“Ok, so lets try and verify the ouji board findings with our SB11 Spirit Box.” Kimberly hops off and goes over to her Dalek. She presses a button to activate the Spirit Box. “D, are you still here with us?”
“NO!”
“Oh, then who is here with us?”
“I HATE CATS!”
Jessica is still thoroughly unimpressed. “How do I know that came from the Spirit Box and not from the Dalek?”
“Because I turned the Spirit Box on and the Dalek off. Now quit disrespecting the spirits or else they may attack you physically.”
“Whatever.” Jessica rolls her eyes.
“I apologize for my friend!” Kim announces loudly to whatever ‘spirits’ (if any) may be in the room. “So, uh, Mr. Spirit Person...or Mrs. Spirit Person, however you choose to identify yourself...can you tell me if I’m gonna retain the MWE Chicago Way Championship at Glory Horizons?”
“YES!”
“Yay!” Kim jumps up and down, ecstatic about the ridiculous ‘prediction’. But then she stops suddenly as she begins to think about it a little more. “Uh, does that mean YES I will win or YES you can tell me?”
“YES!”
“Yes I can? Or Yes I am?”
“YES!”
Williams stomps on the floor like a petulant child who hasn’t been given what she wants; which in this case, isn’t far from the truth. “Damn it! Just answer my question you stupid ghost!”
“HOW RUDE!”
“I know you are but what am I?” Kimberly says, sticking her tongue out. Meanwhile her half-sister Jessica is rolling her eyes furiously.
“Please, Kim, don’t tell me you actually buy into this junk?” Jessica motions to the Dalek, where the voices are coming from. “Isn’t it obvious that you’re just having a conversation with this stupid machine?!”
“Stupid?!” Kim jumps up and rushes over to her Dalek. She places two hands over its domed head. “She didn’t mean that, Rusty. Jessica is just grouchy.”
“Grouchy and frustrated. This is pointless, Kim! What purpose does any of this serve?”
“We’re attempting to prove the existence of life after death, for starters. Second, we are working on preparing ourselves for the unexpected. We are preparing our minds for the mental assault of the unknown.”
“Yeah, you’ve said that quite a bit tonight, but what does that mean exactly?”
“Well we have no idea what this spirit may do to us, especially now that you have provoked it.” Kim points an accusatory finger at her half-sister. “You questioned this spirit’s existence and by doing so you have insulted it, offended it, and now it may take its revenge.”
Lasiewicz shakes her head defiantly. “Bring it on. Even if this were true, which it isn’t, I’m still not afraid.”
Kim smirks knowingly. “Great, then you won’t mind if I continue with the line of questioning.”
“If it makes you happy then go for it.”
Kim spins around the room, as if she is trying to get the attention of this spirit. “Tell me, what is your name?”
“JAMES!”
“Oh, interesting!” Kim furrows her brow. “James Evans?”
“INCORRECT!”
“He’s not dead, Kim.” Jessica says out of frustration.
“Oh yeah! Uh...James Edwards?”
“INCORRECT!”
“He isn’t dead, either.”
“Former President James Buchanan?”
“INCORRECT!”
Jessica shakes her head. “He isn’t dea…” Jessica catches herself “...ok, yeah, he is dead.”
“So you’re not James Evans and you’re not James Edwards and you’re not James Buchanan. Then what is your name?”
Suddenly Jessica falls over, having been rolled up from behind by a person that came out of nowhere, from within the shadows. Jessica’s shoulders are down and a loud thud can be heard as someone is rapping on the floor...1...2...3!
“Whoo hoo!” The celebratory voice is familiar. Jessica gets up and dusts herself in time to see Sophie James jumping up in the air in celebration. “I won back the Lizard Championship!”
Sophie walks over and embraces Kim in a hug. “Thanks, sweetie! That was awesome shit! And handling the Dalek was fun!” She hands Kimberly the remote control to the Dalek. Kim snickers.
“Isn’t he the best?”
“Of course! You are so lucky to have your own personal Dalek and…” Jessica rolls Sophie up… “...HEY!”
Kimberly down to count the pin...1….2...3!
“Five time champion, baby!” Jessica jumps up and celebrates like she just won a world title, but its just a fake championship. “Yes!!!” Before Sophie or anyone else can give chase, Jessica rushes out of the door and out of the house. Kimberly walks over to Sophie and helps her back up to her feet.
“Thanks for the assist, Sophie.”
“Not a prob. I see your sister is making progress.”
“Yep. I’m gonna pull that stick out of her ass even if it kills me.” She smiles devilishly. “Or her.”
Kimberly gives Sophie a quick hug before turning and running out of the House of Seven Gables home to attempt to catch up to her sister. As soon as The Woman Scorned is outside she finds Jessica across the street, sitting on a black bench by herself. Williams waves furiously at Jessica but gets no response. The eccentric ginger then makes her way across the street and gazes down at Jessica.
“Soooooo how did you enjoy the House of Seven Gables?”
“It was a waste of time.”
“Awwww, now why do you say that?”
“You had this whole thing set up from the beginning, didn’t you? You didn’t have any SB11 Spirit whatever programmed into your stupid tin can robot. You just had Sophie operating him from another room. She was the one providing the words. And it was probably you moving that ouji board to spell out those words, wasn’t it?”
“Maaaaaybe?” Kimberly says, smiling sheepishly.
“Then this was nothing. It meant nothing. Well, it meant nothing to me. For you it was probably hilarious. This was all you playing a joke on me and nothing else.” Jessica sighs as she looks back up at the House of Seven Gables. “I really was excited about this when you first told me what this place was. A part of me was even somewhat excited about a paranormal investigation. But then this…”
“Wait a sec,” Kimberly sits down on the bench next to Jessica and wraps an arm around her shoulder “you have been poo-pooing the whole idea of a paranormal investigation. You told me you didn’t believe in any of it. But now you changed your tune. Now you say you were excited about it? You could have just walked out of the house. No one was stopping you. Just like being Lizard Champion. No one says you have to keep fighting for it, and yet twice you lost it...once to Abi and today to Sophie...and both times you could have just let them have it and walk away. But you fought for it.”
“Because this crap is fun for you!” Jessica snaps. “I’m doing this for you!”
Kimberly chuckles and shakes her head. “Nope. Not buying it.”
“So what do you think, Kim? What is your explanation behind all of this? Because I would like to know what is going on in that head of yours, especially since you’ve put me through that damn escape room and now this nonsense!”
“Well I have a theory that underneath the rough, stony, stoic exterior you put forward for the public, lies someone who is more laid back and fun loving, like me! The fact that you were disappointed that I rigged this whole paranormal investigation and the fact that you just HAD to win back a fake championship that no promotion recognizes is proof of my theory.”
“You’re nuts, you know that?” Jessica says, rolling her eyes.
“Nuttier than a fruitcake! But I am still right.”
Kimberly watches her sister’s facial features as they slowly go from stoic to finally cracking a small smile. Then Jessica lets out a light laugh and nods her head. “I have to admit, the past few weeks have added a little more excitement to my laugh…”
“A little more?”
“Ok, fine, a LOT more excitement!” Jessica exclaims as she looks over at Kim. “But why go to all of this trouble?”
“Do you have to ask?” Kim says as she embraces Jessica in a tight hug. “Because I love you, sis, and I hated seeing you so down on yourself, so depressed, and bitter. I wanted to bring some life back to your soul, y’know what I mean?”
Lasiewicz nods her head. “I think so, yeah. But what do you get out of this?”
“Nothing except the pleasure of knowing that I helped you.”