All He Ever Wanted, Part One

OOC: This was written a few weeks ago, just prior to Millennium getting back on the road if you need a time frame. Thanks to Reeves as always for working with me and I hope you all enjoy 



He’d always known that one extreme or the other would’ve been what ended him. For someone like Keelan who lived his life so carefree and exponentially, always chasing the next thrill, or always seeking a new height meant that he was always chasing something. Normally he would’ve called that a challenge worth pursuing and he would’ve continuously pursued it to no end, but something had changed in him.



The man who used to live with no limitations, suddenly found himself limited, not by his personal life or even career-wise, but instead it was the inner demons that seemed to constantly be boiling under the surface. In the vein of keeping a brave face and never really letting his feelings show past the exuberant, thrill-seeking, good guy we’ve come to know. . . he’d lost a part of himself along the way.



It wasn’t just him who had noticed it either. Megan Monroe despite her flaws, had been able to chip away at his armor, Seth Iser, and even Gavin Grimes, someone he used to call friend had been able to really find their way inward to hurt his spirit, but maybe that was something that was being damaged for the longest time.



In all of the pursuit for gold for Millennium Wrestling, Keelan had truly found himself coming up short again and again, and again. Not just professionally either, and when that fated fireball smacked him in the face and burned his skin. . . in some weird, sordid way it had been a blessing.



A moment for him to step away from the path he’d been taking and really take a moment to find himself again.



So how was he to do that exactly? Long ago he would’ve disappeared into the wilderness, gone for an Antarctic run, gone boulder hopping, or so on and so forth. Really bring himself to a challenge that tested his mental and physical capabilities. Somehow all of those things seemed less challenging to him though than what he really was about to do and that was ask for forgiveness.



Maybe that seemed like such a silly thing to do because in the main scheme of things he’d not really done anything wrong, but Keelan wasn’t the type of guy to think that just because it may not be judged as wrongdoing on someone else’s part didn’t mean he was doing everything right either.



In truth, he had the perfect lady in his life, one he could’ve easily put on a high and showed mad love for, but he wasn’t that type. The type who shouted it from the rooftops and all of that. The way he showed he cared was a little more quiet. He didn’t need to show her off because she could easily do that. What he failed to do was to show that his love for her was deeper though. It held a meaning he couldn’t really describe, but one thing was for sure and that was that he didn’t always show it enough or in the best way possible. Because despite dating her for the length of time that he had, something inside of him still told him that she was out of his league, that she outclassed him and outshined him, and most of the time he was okay with that. Because it made him feel like the luckiest man alive. Until he got caught up in the bullshit that was happening around him that he’d almost forgotten the most important thing. . . that she was on his side. . .



So here he was now, as dopey as it might’ve been he’d made sure to call ahead and let her know he was coming, and much like the tradition they’d established when they first met up again, he held a promising bottle in his hand, truthfully, the only time he even drank was when he was trying to keep up with Melly, and damn was she good at calling his bluff when he tried. Yet, still he didn’t mind it all that much.



He knocked twice before he took a step back so she’d know it was him and not just some bogan she’d never seen before. It took a few moments before the door opened, it’s not a small place after all. But open that door she did and Melissa warmly greeted Keelan. Part of it was just the happiness of seeing him, part was that it was unexpected, but most was because she’d missed him.



Melissa Reeves: “Heyyy…”



And with that she dived at him, arms around his waist, cheek to his chest.



Melissa Reeves: “I didn’t know you were coming over. You’re lucky I wasn’t washing my hair.”[/color]



She looked up, grin obvious. As he almost openly chuckled at that. He actually wouldn’t mind if she was washing her hair because . . . well. . . he wasn’t going to let his mind wander there.



Melissa Reeves: “Come in, yeah?”



There was no taking no for an answer and she led him inside without any protest. Moving to her couch, she brought him a drink and sat beside him.



Melissa Reeves: “It’s so nice to see you, KJ. How you holding up?”



He laughed almost instantly, that was his Melly after all insistent, exuberant, perfect really. He moved easily along though her gesturing made him laugh out slightly.



Keelan Jayce: “Been a rough few weeks, I’m starting to think I'm becoming a sap.”



He measured with a grin pulling her towards him on the couch.



Keelan Jayce: “Missing you too much and all of that.”



That was very true in fact, they’d been together for a while and he knew he had his moments where he was there and not there. He was starting to actually hate that.



Keelan Jayce: “Had to get some work done so to speak”



he measured, motioning to his face though the really bad parts where the fireball had grazed his skin was covered up by his hat and the longer hair that he’d been growing out. There was still a lot of work to be done where that was concerned though.



Keelan Jayce: “What about you? Finally getting to get back on the road again this week coming up huh?”



A glimmer coming to his eyes then looking in her direction. For her part, she listened intently, nodding at times.



Melissa Reeves: “Underground is on hiatus and Millennium has the week off, so I’m pretty free right now. It’s making me start to go a bit stir crazy, honestly.”



She shrugged though.



Melissa Reeves: “But don’t change the subject. We were talking about you, the more important topic. I’m sorry you’ve had a rough time, I really am. I’m even more sorry I don’t seem to be able to do anything much to help. I just wish you’d open up to me, you know? You kinda...block me out.”



He nodded, it was easy for him to do that really. Not the blocking people out part, but the changing the subject. He tried not to crack a smile at her sternness, but one of the things he loved about Melly the most was her realism, she wasn’t like any woman he’d ever met really, but it made him appreciate her much more. She was truthful, matter-of-fact and he didn’t have to guess where he stood with her at the moment.



Keelan Jayce: “Yeah, I did do that.”



He said honestly, now turning a bit, grabbing hold of her hand. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to say as much, but when was there a right time truly? He didn’t like to make things about him, didn’t like to let those feelings show, even to the ones that mattered the most or maybe especially the most.



Keelan Jayce: “I don’t know where my head’s been Melly. Ever since the mess with Gav, I lost it a bit. Let Seth and Meg get into my head. It's not an excuse, it's just. . . what happened.”



He paused, unsure of what else to say really, It didn’t seem to be coming out right even though he’d rehearsed it in his head a thousand times.



Keelan Jayce: “Its silly, but I feel like I don’t deserve you sometimes, like I’m still trying to win you over or think that I have to match your stride, I know its a stupid, man thing. . . .”



He chuckled slightly



Keelan Jayce: “. . . but that’s hard to admit and I don’t want to be like that. So I owe you an apology. Well more than that really.”



He paused again. Not really sure how to piece the words together further. What was so hard about asking for forgiveness? Why was it such a pain inducing task? Maybe because it didn’t feel like enough truly.



Keelan Jayce: “I just know I love you, and the more I go being the stubborn arse that I am, the more it's evident that I need to express that to you, and whatever this mess is that’s been bothering me it's irrelevant to us. Maybe, it hasn’t been, but it's going to be because I don’t want to ruin the only good that I have going for me, and that’s being with you. Getting to be your guy.”



He laughed out because the slurring of words was just too much that he had to take a breather there. At least to hear her thoughts before he carried on.



Melissa Reeves: “What’s going on with you is never irrelevant to us, we don’t compartmentalise feelings like that. I can’t believe we’ve been together for so long and you still think that you need to hide how you feel. I mean, it basically makes me useless. I might not have all the answers, but I’d always help you as best as I can.”



She shook her head. Damn him.



Melissa Reeves: “I don’t want an apology, I want you to lower your defences. We’re together but we’re not together. It’s like we’re just going through the motions and honestly, sometimes I wonder if this is fair on us both. But I stick it out because when we’re good, we’re so good. I feel like an outsider at times though and I don’t push you because I don’t want to cause a fight. But then I feel like I come off as uncaring and I’m not, I do care. I care about how you feel and how you’re doing, even when you try to keep me out. So I guess...what I’m saying is that yeah it’s nice to hear this from you now, but I don’t want it to be a single moment of clarity and you go back to doing what you’ve been doing.”



Earnestly it was refreshing to him to see her reaction, she was right really and he knew that. KJ didn’t exactly have the best examples of family life, and especially when it came to relationships, he’d fucked up his fair share of them, but he was very much aware that had been his own doing. No one made it through life without missing a beat.



Keelan Jayce: “Bad choice of phrasing.”



He said in reference to the irrelevant part. He only meant that work stuff should never come between them, it should be left in the ring where it belonged but that wasn’t always possible. Sadly, in a sport that involved so many egos, it was thoroughly impossible not to let it have some effect eventually.



“But I hear you babe, I really do.”



He stated and let himself hold her hand with both of his now. He wasn’t trying to upset her, he was just trying to explain really and the fact that she felt the way she did about it was completely valid. Which was also hard to admit because most wanted to place fault or blame on someone else, He didn’t blame Mel in fact he was grateful she hadn’t put him on his arse the minute he’d walked through the door.



Keelan Jayce: “I’ve never been the overbearing emotional type, you know that. Most of the time I don’t let the ear bashing get to me, or well at least I don’t think that it does until it hits me. Never claimed to be the smartest bloke out there.”



He gestured with a grin



Keelan Jayce: “But, this”



He motioned to his face and the whole fireball incident again.



Keelan Jayce: “Made me realize that I was missing what’s important. Maybe it's not quick enough or I’m just a drongo for taking so long, but I don’t have defenses up anymore, that’s not just for now. . . not when it comes to you at least.”



He paused again while licking his lips thoughtfully.



Keelan Jayce: “At this point, I’m also going to say that if you feel like you need to push me, if you think i’m being defensive then kick my arse. Seriously, I need it from time to time and if anyone is allowed to, it's you.”



He measured and while that was partially a joke he meant it too. He didn’t deny his stubbornness but sometimes he didn’t always realize it at the time as he stated previously, but he knew he was flawed. She made him a better man simply by holding him accountable.





Melissa Reeves: “Yeah, but…”



She sighed.



Melissa Reeves: “I don’t want our relationship to be me kicking you for getting out of line. It’s important that you’re allowed to be yourself, flaws and all. I don’t want to be controlling like that and in any case, who you are is what attracted me to you in the first place.”



Shoulders slumped, she relaxed just a tad.



Melissa Reeves: “But I’ve felt pretty much on the outside of things and I know you’re not the best at opening up...I know you’ve had to deal with some horrid stuff, too, so I didn’t want to push. At times, though, I’ve felt like you don’t want this and aren’t interested. So if you are, and you really mean it, then you do need to show it. Otherwise what are we doing?”



He was almost in disbelief at that, but he could also see her point. Obviously, he’d made some mistakes but he also didn’t know how she was feeling . . . until now. Getting caught up in life sometimes had that effect on you and he was aware that he had his shortcomings, but knowing how she felt was part of the battle he supposed, and part of what he needed to fix his shit (if you will).



Keelan Jayce: “I don’t mean like that, Melly, if you’re having to kick me in the shins all the time I’m clearly not doing something right by you.”



He measured with a smirk.



Keelan Jayce: “But not interested”



he furrowed his brow. The crease in his forehead showing.



Keelan Jayce: “I’ve never been more interested in any one person in my life, and if that’s not evident, I’ve really got to fix that.”



He said now sliding a little closer to her.



Keelan Jayce: “Like right now.”



He was never one to be called suave, but damn if he wasn’t trying in that particular moment as he kissed her passionately. Even tossing off his cap in the process without even realizing he pulled back only inches from her then and let out a laugh.



Keelan Jayce:“I’m yours Melly, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I mean it. There is nothing I want more.”







Melissa Reeves: “Then say it. Say it, mean it, show it.”



She kissed him under her own steam, before holding herself tightly against him.





Melissa Reeves: “I need you too, you know? I know you think I’m indestructible, but I’m not. I need the support as much as you do. Is this what you want, Keelan? Us? Me?”



Keelan Jayce: “I know, I know.”



He said in reference to her needing him also. Her strength was beautiful, but to see her lean into him the way she did, to get to hold her like this. It really made all the difference. A vulnerable side that no one else really got to see from her. A longing for him in the same vain that he longed for her. It made him almost tear up truly.



This was exactly what he wanted and it was what they both needed truly. Words couldn’t really describe the release of pain he had now. Maybe it was anticipation, being scared of losing her, but in the end it was fine he just couldn’t get caught up in everything again, but one thing was certain, he was hers and she was his.



Indeed, it was all he ever wanted.