Post by Tiff on Apr 10, 2020 7:06:36 GMT -6
Over a year ago, a Youtube account was created. 5FootDeathKick. No uploads since it's creation. That is until today...
April 10, 2020. One day removed from a very significant day in the life of the former Cloud Gate Champion...
The first upload on the channel was a video blog. A webcam video recorded in a quietly decorated bedroom. The white vacant walls and the slightly messy bed were little out of the ordinary, perhaps even bland or dull, but it was difficult to notice the pair of crutches resting on the side of the bed. The video opens however with a close-up of a familiar face, albeit not instantly familiar under the current circumstances. It was the former champion herself, but a few things were off about her. Her hair, still as long and blonde as ever, was curled and unkempt, implying that she had just woke up from a long, tireless night of sleep. Her face, despite its natural shape, was pale and pasty; a consequence of a lack of make-up or effort. She wore an over-sized Alkaline Trio t-shirt like a dress, leaving little to the imagination of what she might be wearing with it. As she let go off the camera, she sat back onto the floor of her bedroom, but not without scooping a handful of potato chips and stuffing them down her face, demonstrating how little she cared about herself or how she is perceived by the rest of the world. She was completely out of character.
After using the back of her hand to wipe the crumbs from her lips, she breaks her resting sad face to give a nervous smile to the camera. This only lasts a moment, long enough to try and introduce herself.
"uhhh...hi..."
She clearly didn't know how to introduce herself. Not only was this the first time she's been on camera for weeks, but this was the first time she ever shared something as personal as her bedroom to the public. Something is clearly off as she repositions herself in front of the camera, looking away to ponder on what to say next.
"...so for those who don't remember me, my name is Tiffany Rollins...but some of you might remember me as Tompkins...or Hudson...I don't know anymore...I've kinda screwed up, haven't I?"
She smirks and laughs at herself for that comment, but it's very clear how hard she is trying to stop herself from letting out any tears.
"I don't know...I don't know why I'm doing this...I guess I just thought I'd update those who still care...but then again none of you do now, right?"
There was clear contempt in that last comment...
"Well in case you're wondering, it's been 2 months since I tore my MCL, and I can still barely put any weight on my leg, so I guess that's good news for anyone who doesn't want me back...but the thing is...even despite the current circumstances, there's been another reason for me to isolate..."
She takes a moment to chew on another handful of potato chips, this time not even chewing with her mouth closed. As she gnaws on the chips, purposely avoiding eye contact with the camera, she musters what's left of her confidence to continue speaking, after swallowing the chips of course.
"I don't know where it all went wrong...where could I possibly start? When I was little, I was always told that dreams meant nothing. That there's no point in following my dreams, that I will never achieve anything. Of course I had no family back then...and the more I think about it, the more I think it should have stayed that way..."
A tear finally dripped from her eye after that last comment.
"...but all of a sudden, all of my dreams became true. I was adopted. I enrolled at a training school. I became a wrestler. I even met all my heroes. I travelled across the whole world, I fought against the biggest of legends, and I even won championship gold. All the while, everyone kept telling me that I can't do it. I'd never make it as a wrestler. I'd never travel the world. I'd never win a title. That motivated me. I fought to defy all the odds and prove my doubters wrong, and look how that turned out for me!"
She becomes a little unsettled after saying that, visibly frustrated with how everything led up to this very moment.
"I'm stuck at home...playing games...stuffing my face...with nothing to show for it. I lost my title...I lost my boyfriend...I lost my career...I have nothing. I can't even go to the fucking gym because of this stupid injury..."
She turns to grab one of her crutches and throws it to the other side of the room, and a loud thud could be heard on camera.
"All I've ever known is to fight. All I've ever wanted to do is to fight. To fight and to prove to everyone how good of a fighter I am. But as it turns out, all the doubters...they weren't just doubters. There's an established order in the industry, and if anyone ever dared to challenge that order, everyone would turn on you in an instant. In reality, no one ever doubted me...they just knew my place, and the more I challenged that, the worse shit got for me. It all started with Meg Rydell..."
The mere mention of the woman who unveiled her connection with the Lasiewicz family made her cringe.
"I still don't know how she did, but she told the world my biggest secret. And you know...if you asked me back then, I would have come up with every excuse in the book to justify hiding such a big secret like that...a secret that the family already knew by the way...but I guess that was just one of many screw-ups in my fucking life. When all I wanted was a challenge, she turned my whole life upside down...and yet she still got cheered for it!"
Another out of character moment of bitterness. Normally Tiffany is more reserved than this, but she is pouring her heart out for this video...
"I knew I couldn't undo what I did. All I could do was accept it and move on...but there were a lot less cheers since then. I lost a lot of support, but still I fought, and still I defended that title...or should I say I defended that bean, since that's what Aries used to call it. The title I fought so hard to defend, he made into a joke, and therefore, made me into a joke. The cheers became jeers, and even after beating his ass, I still couldn't win his respect. Probably not the smartest idea to expect any respect from someone like him, but you're starting to notice a trend, right? And then of course there was Luna..."
This one was just as hard, if not even harder to muster. She needed another quick potato chip before continuing her vent.
"Fucking bitch. The one thing to bring me happiness outside of wrestling, and that fucking bitch had to take it away from me. I know I don't have much of a social life...and I don't exactly have the best luck with boys...but at one point I honestly thought he was the one. Should have known all boys are the fucking same...they see one girl who looks so much better than you and they drop you like a fucking brick...sorry I ain't as pretty as most of you..."
Realizing she was going off target, and perhaps even too personal, she stopped herself and gave another awkward laugh to the camera as she struggled to remember what she was talking about. It took another potato chip to help her...
"Sorry...clearly still not over it...but then I'm sure you know the rest. Everyone's favorite Songbird. My cousin...and the one member of the family who saw through my bullshit. Like everyone else, she did everything in her power to bring me down...but this was different. She was actual family. And what did I do? I retaliated. And when did I decide to retaliate? When she was in the fucking hospital. Wonderful timing, right? Kick a dog while it's down, right? Yeah, that was it. The hump that broke the camel's back. As soon as I shot that, I could feel the whole world turning against me. My friends. My family. Everyone. That was the moment that made me the most hated girl in the industry. And more importantly, that was moment I realized..."
She sucks in the air in a pathetic attempt to withdraw the tears, clearly not wanting to continue.
"...I realized where it all went wrong. It didn't start when I won that title...I didn't start when I decided to hide my connection with the Lasiewicz...I didn't even start when I began my career. It all started when I was fucking born."
There is an ominous silence after that. Tiffany looked distant, lost in her own train of thought, forgetting for a moment that she was on camera. Her vacant stare eventually returned to the camera, but even then it took a few seconds for her to say anything else.
"Yesterday was my birthday...I'm twenty years old...I didn't get a single card...and while most girls get presents...the woman who ruined my life calls me a dog and gets cheered for it."
This called for another handful of potato chips. She was becoming more and more irrational by the second. She even tried speaking with her mouth full...
*muffled* (Maybe she's right. Maybe I am a dog)
She finally swallows, but this doesn't change her estranged demeanor.
"For someone who always claimed to earn things all on her own, I rely on so many people. I still live in Brytain's house for fuck sake...I can't do anything by myself...I'm dependent on others...so maybe she has a point..."
She finally stops herself from spiralling out of control again, but this doesn't change her current feelings.
"...sorry...I just...I don't know...I just don't know what to do with myself. I mean, what's the point of going back? Who's gonna care whether I come back or not? I've burned so many bridges...I've lost what little friends I ever had...I barely even hear from my own family these days...what's the point of loving something that clearly hates you? What's the point...what's the point of anything really? I don't even know which family I should belong to. I obviously don't belong in wrestling, so what's the point? I don't belong anywhere, so what's the point? What's the point anymore..."
She once again falls into a vacant trance.
"...nothing is worth it. I thought it was, but I was wrong. You win a title, and you hold onto it for over a year, but it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter how proud you make anyone, disappointment is all you'll ever be remembered for. It's easier to lose friends than to make them. It's easier to lose respect than to earn it. It's not really a life I want to live anymore. It's not a pain I want to feel anymore. No one will notice if I exist or not. No one cares. No one will ever care. Not for someone like me. Not for someone who doesn't belong. Not for a dog like me..."
This time the trance doesn't break. She still looks emotionless as ever, even despite the tears that now flooded her face, even despite the crumbs that stayed on her shirts and lips. She was a wreck, but she didn't care. To her, this would be the last time most people would see her. She didn't even know what she was doing after the video ends. All she could do in this moment is stare off into the distance, still struggling to muster what little else to say. But in that moment, that's when she figured it out. Just the mere thought brought a creepy smile onto her face, a smile of someone who was not alright. Oblivious to the wreck she had become, she turned back to the camera, and in a soft, defeated voice, said her final words...
"Happy birthday to me."
With those last words, without breaking her demented smile, she reached up to the camera to switch it off.
And that's the end of the video.
Like? Comment? Subscribe? Or forget?
April 10, 2020. One day removed from a very significant day in the life of the former Cloud Gate Champion...
The first upload on the channel was a video blog. A webcam video recorded in a quietly decorated bedroom. The white vacant walls and the slightly messy bed were little out of the ordinary, perhaps even bland or dull, but it was difficult to notice the pair of crutches resting on the side of the bed. The video opens however with a close-up of a familiar face, albeit not instantly familiar under the current circumstances. It was the former champion herself, but a few things were off about her. Her hair, still as long and blonde as ever, was curled and unkempt, implying that she had just woke up from a long, tireless night of sleep. Her face, despite its natural shape, was pale and pasty; a consequence of a lack of make-up or effort. She wore an over-sized Alkaline Trio t-shirt like a dress, leaving little to the imagination of what she might be wearing with it. As she let go off the camera, she sat back onto the floor of her bedroom, but not without scooping a handful of potato chips and stuffing them down her face, demonstrating how little she cared about herself or how she is perceived by the rest of the world. She was completely out of character.
After using the back of her hand to wipe the crumbs from her lips, she breaks her resting sad face to give a nervous smile to the camera. This only lasts a moment, long enough to try and introduce herself.
"uhhh...hi..."
She clearly didn't know how to introduce herself. Not only was this the first time she's been on camera for weeks, but this was the first time she ever shared something as personal as her bedroom to the public. Something is clearly off as she repositions herself in front of the camera, looking away to ponder on what to say next.
"...so for those who don't remember me, my name is Tiffany Rollins...but some of you might remember me as Tompkins...or Hudson...I don't know anymore...I've kinda screwed up, haven't I?"
She smirks and laughs at herself for that comment, but it's very clear how hard she is trying to stop herself from letting out any tears.
"I don't know...I don't know why I'm doing this...I guess I just thought I'd update those who still care...but then again none of you do now, right?"
There was clear contempt in that last comment...
"Well in case you're wondering, it's been 2 months since I tore my MCL, and I can still barely put any weight on my leg, so I guess that's good news for anyone who doesn't want me back...but the thing is...even despite the current circumstances, there's been another reason for me to isolate..."
She takes a moment to chew on another handful of potato chips, this time not even chewing with her mouth closed. As she gnaws on the chips, purposely avoiding eye contact with the camera, she musters what's left of her confidence to continue speaking, after swallowing the chips of course.
"I don't know where it all went wrong...where could I possibly start? When I was little, I was always told that dreams meant nothing. That there's no point in following my dreams, that I will never achieve anything. Of course I had no family back then...and the more I think about it, the more I think it should have stayed that way..."
A tear finally dripped from her eye after that last comment.
"...but all of a sudden, all of my dreams became true. I was adopted. I enrolled at a training school. I became a wrestler. I even met all my heroes. I travelled across the whole world, I fought against the biggest of legends, and I even won championship gold. All the while, everyone kept telling me that I can't do it. I'd never make it as a wrestler. I'd never travel the world. I'd never win a title. That motivated me. I fought to defy all the odds and prove my doubters wrong, and look how that turned out for me!"
She becomes a little unsettled after saying that, visibly frustrated with how everything led up to this very moment.
"I'm stuck at home...playing games...stuffing my face...with nothing to show for it. I lost my title...I lost my boyfriend...I lost my career...I have nothing. I can't even go to the fucking gym because of this stupid injury..."
She turns to grab one of her crutches and throws it to the other side of the room, and a loud thud could be heard on camera.
"All I've ever known is to fight. All I've ever wanted to do is to fight. To fight and to prove to everyone how good of a fighter I am. But as it turns out, all the doubters...they weren't just doubters. There's an established order in the industry, and if anyone ever dared to challenge that order, everyone would turn on you in an instant. In reality, no one ever doubted me...they just knew my place, and the more I challenged that, the worse shit got for me. It all started with Meg Rydell..."
The mere mention of the woman who unveiled her connection with the Lasiewicz family made her cringe.
"I still don't know how she did, but she told the world my biggest secret. And you know...if you asked me back then, I would have come up with every excuse in the book to justify hiding such a big secret like that...a secret that the family already knew by the way...but I guess that was just one of many screw-ups in my fucking life. When all I wanted was a challenge, she turned my whole life upside down...and yet she still got cheered for it!"
Another out of character moment of bitterness. Normally Tiffany is more reserved than this, but she is pouring her heart out for this video...
"I knew I couldn't undo what I did. All I could do was accept it and move on...but there were a lot less cheers since then. I lost a lot of support, but still I fought, and still I defended that title...or should I say I defended that bean, since that's what Aries used to call it. The title I fought so hard to defend, he made into a joke, and therefore, made me into a joke. The cheers became jeers, and even after beating his ass, I still couldn't win his respect. Probably not the smartest idea to expect any respect from someone like him, but you're starting to notice a trend, right? And then of course there was Luna..."
This one was just as hard, if not even harder to muster. She needed another quick potato chip before continuing her vent.
"Fucking bitch. The one thing to bring me happiness outside of wrestling, and that fucking bitch had to take it away from me. I know I don't have much of a social life...and I don't exactly have the best luck with boys...but at one point I honestly thought he was the one. Should have known all boys are the fucking same...they see one girl who looks so much better than you and they drop you like a fucking brick...sorry I ain't as pretty as most of you..."
Realizing she was going off target, and perhaps even too personal, she stopped herself and gave another awkward laugh to the camera as she struggled to remember what she was talking about. It took another potato chip to help her...
"Sorry...clearly still not over it...but then I'm sure you know the rest. Everyone's favorite Songbird. My cousin...and the one member of the family who saw through my bullshit. Like everyone else, she did everything in her power to bring me down...but this was different. She was actual family. And what did I do? I retaliated. And when did I decide to retaliate? When she was in the fucking hospital. Wonderful timing, right? Kick a dog while it's down, right? Yeah, that was it. The hump that broke the camel's back. As soon as I shot that, I could feel the whole world turning against me. My friends. My family. Everyone. That was the moment that made me the most hated girl in the industry. And more importantly, that was moment I realized..."
She sucks in the air in a pathetic attempt to withdraw the tears, clearly not wanting to continue.
"...I realized where it all went wrong. It didn't start when I won that title...I didn't start when I decided to hide my connection with the Lasiewicz...I didn't even start when I began my career. It all started when I was fucking born."
There is an ominous silence after that. Tiffany looked distant, lost in her own train of thought, forgetting for a moment that she was on camera. Her vacant stare eventually returned to the camera, but even then it took a few seconds for her to say anything else.
"Yesterday was my birthday...I'm twenty years old...I didn't get a single card...and while most girls get presents...the woman who ruined my life calls me a dog and gets cheered for it."
This called for another handful of potato chips. She was becoming more and more irrational by the second. She even tried speaking with her mouth full...
*muffled* (Maybe she's right. Maybe I am a dog)
She finally swallows, but this doesn't change her estranged demeanor.
"For someone who always claimed to earn things all on her own, I rely on so many people. I still live in Brytain's house for fuck sake...I can't do anything by myself...I'm dependent on others...so maybe she has a point..."
She finally stops herself from spiralling out of control again, but this doesn't change her current feelings.
"...sorry...I just...I don't know...I just don't know what to do with myself. I mean, what's the point of going back? Who's gonna care whether I come back or not? I've burned so many bridges...I've lost what little friends I ever had...I barely even hear from my own family these days...what's the point of loving something that clearly hates you? What's the point...what's the point of anything really? I don't even know which family I should belong to. I obviously don't belong in wrestling, so what's the point? I don't belong anywhere, so what's the point? What's the point anymore..."
She once again falls into a vacant trance.
"...nothing is worth it. I thought it was, but I was wrong. You win a title, and you hold onto it for over a year, but it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter how proud you make anyone, disappointment is all you'll ever be remembered for. It's easier to lose friends than to make them. It's easier to lose respect than to earn it. It's not really a life I want to live anymore. It's not a pain I want to feel anymore. No one will notice if I exist or not. No one cares. No one will ever care. Not for someone like me. Not for someone who doesn't belong. Not for a dog like me..."
This time the trance doesn't break. She still looks emotionless as ever, even despite the tears that now flooded her face, even despite the crumbs that stayed on her shirts and lips. She was a wreck, but she didn't care. To her, this would be the last time most people would see her. She didn't even know what she was doing after the video ends. All she could do in this moment is stare off into the distance, still struggling to muster what little else to say. But in that moment, that's when she figured it out. Just the mere thought brought a creepy smile onto her face, a smile of someone who was not alright. Oblivious to the wreck she had become, she turned back to the camera, and in a soft, defeated voice, said her final words...
"Happy birthday to me."
With those last words, without breaking her demented smile, she reached up to the camera to switch it off.
And that's the end of the video.
Like? Comment? Subscribe? Or forget?